16
u/aMAYESingNATHAN 4d ago
I'd much rather people did good deeds for recognition than not do good deeds at all. People get far too hung up on people's intentions.
3
3
u/Bluesnow2222 2d ago
This.
Intrinsically doing good for the sake of doing good is great, but whatever it takes for someone to mentally push themselves to be a force for good is fine.
I do think that having enough self reflection of yourself to understand your motivation is healthy, but even if you realize you do good things for praise, it doesn’t make you a bad person- it makes you human, and at the end if the day you still did good!
In my case I became an adult and realized that I often was good not because I wanted praise or even cared, but I felt it was my obligation or duty. I was “supposed” to be perfect at everything, and self sacrificing, and cleaning up family drama with a smile. My mom had instilled in me this “character” I was supposed to be, and I felt if I was ever less than that I was a failure.
There was a moment I realized my heart wasn’t in it thought I was a bad person pretending to be good—- but a girl I knew in highschool approached me in a grocery store and told me I saved her life. I barely remembered her, but she was the outcast and I always let her in my group in one class. She told me that she had attempted suicide several times that year and I was the only kid at school who was nice to her and knowing she’d be safe in that one class was one of the only things that got her to graduation.
Maybe I didn’t actually care about her for real in highschool, she was just a girl who I thought I felt obligated to be good to, but it made me feel good to know that my actions still helped a person so significantly.
I think as an adult I’ve processed a lot of that nonsense and realized I was never “actually bad,” but just complicated- and in the end my pretending still had a positive effect on others so it’s all good.
6
u/SyrusDrake 4d ago
Not a bad mindset, but be careful you're not taking it too far. It's often a thin line between "doing a good deed for its own sake" and "not getting any due recognition for your hard work".
2
11
2
u/Prince-Angel-Wing 4d ago
Unfortunately, good deeds don't pay my bills, keep me full, or fill my gas tank (nor do I like when people do that for me anyways.) I'm always asking if they're sure if they want to give anything to me, because I don't want to take anything unless they're absolutely sure that it's not going to cause issues.
2
2
u/DaniTheMann 3d ago
As someone who does volunteer work on a weekly basis (helping immigrants with their language skills and other stuff the participants might need help with), I can say that my motivation to continue solely comes from the gratitude and happiness of the people i've helped, as well as the encouragement i've gotten from others. And therefore I think it's important to praise people who do good deeds, because it's a huge source of motivation for people like me to keep going, and after all, we want people to do good things, right?
2
u/Barbie-Ranger 1d ago
I felt so uncomfortable with college essays for this reason because I was like "ew. J didn't do any of this for YOU and having to brag about it makes me feel gross"
1
1
u/Accomplished-Plum631 9h ago
I sometimes share my gum with people at school and it just makes me so indescribably happy for some reason.
1
21
u/Fabulous-Present-497 4d ago
Well, better than doing evil deeds for recognition/praise