I am in the middle of probably the biggest crisis of my adult life and I can barely think so I apologize in advance if this comes across as really weird or rambley.

My wife went to Mexico last week for a friends bachelorette party and aside for the plane ticket, the hotel and the first days food and drinks--she didn't spend a penny all week. I mean on the credit card it's as clear as day that on Monday up until about 9pm she was buying dinner, stuff at the hotel shop, drinks at the bar, souvenirs and then at 9pm she didn't spend another cent the entire week until she was at her layover airport in Dallas. She says it's because her friend took over and paid for everything. I guess this is plausible but it still is giving me a funny feeling.

What is worse is that my wife is a person who posts her entire life on instagram on tiktok (mostly instangram) but if she does anything from get a latte to picking the kids up at school, she will post it either as a picture or as a story. The last thing she posted on tiktok was that trend of people "jumping" into their vacation from the airport and after that her social media is blank. I was kind of keeping an eye on it because I was excited for her to go on the trip and again I guess it's plausible but it gives me a funny feeling. When she got home I said I can't wait to see all the pics she took and she really blew me off and said that she just didn't feel like taking pics that week.

She has also been incredibly distant and last night she said she just felt like sleeping on the couch because the AC hits better (this is 100% true) but I swear I heard her talking on the phone in the middle of the night. When I got up to check on her I accidentally tripped over the dog and made a huge racket so when I got downstairs she appeared to be asleep.

i brought all of this up this morning and said I'm not accusing her of anything but all this put together is making me feel uneasy. I wasn't trying to bait her or fight with her, just get my feelings on the table. She said you are a major fucking asshole for bringing this up on her first day back at work. I said I wasn't trying to pry, just communicating with her and she said "your commuincation is prying and I am not discussing this with you ever again." She then took the kids to summer camp and left.

AITAH?

Edit: so I realized that her texts probably sync to her ipad so i just checked. It took me a while to figure out the passcode but I did but there was an imessage at 9:15 the night she got to the resort from a number with no contact info that said "ok, i'll meet you in the lobby. Is the app you said signal?" I looked up signal and it's kind of like whatsapp. The ipad doesn't have signal on it.

Edit 2: If you have been following my comments, you've seen that my sister is coming over and she's an insane internet sleuth and is relentless when it comes to this cheating stuff. She also scares me a bit so I'm hoping this isn't a mistake. I'm going to probably stop responding for a while so we can talk and she can do her thing. I am numb but she can do this. Thanks for everyone and the nice comments and the reality check, its not looking good.

Edit3: she cheated my sister was able to get lots of info from the real estate guy and my wife denied it at first but then admitted it. Sorrru it took so long to update but I’m numb. Have literally 0 idea what to do now.

“Idk man it all depends on if he knew she was a minor”

Why didn’t he say that in his tweet? You think if he didn’t know he wouldn’t be screaming from the rooftops that it was an honest mistake and that as soon as he found out he cut off contact?

Grown ass man chatting to a kid inappropriately, have some fucking shame people.

My wife Paula and I have been married for ten years. We've had our ups and downs, but I always thought we were solid. I guess you never really know someone, do you?

So, last weekend, my wife went on a "girls' trip" with her friends. She's done this a few times before, and I've never thought much of it. She needs her space, and I trust her... or at least I did.

While she was away, I decided to do a deep clean of the house. She loves coming back to a clean home, and I figured it was a nice gesture. I started with our bedroom and eventually made my way to her side of the closet. That's where things took a turn.

Hidden behind her winter coats was a small, locked box. Curiosity got the better of me. I found a spare key (I remembered it from when we moved in) and opened it. Inside were letters, photographs, and a burner phone. My heart sank.

The letters were love notes, but not from me. They were from someone named "A." The photos were of my wife and this guy, looking very cozy. And the phone? It was full of texts between her and "A." I read enough to know that this had been going on for at least six months. They'd been meeting up while I was at work, during her "girls' trips," and who knows when else.

I felt sick. Betrayed. Angry. All the emotions you can imagine. I put everything back exactly as I found it and closed the box. Then, I sat down and tried to think. What the hell was I going to do?

When she came back from her trip, I pretended everything was normal. I needed time to process and figure out my next move. But keeping it all in was driving me insane. Every time she smiled at me, it felt like a knife twisting in my gut.

Yesterday, I finally broke. I confronted her after dinner. I told her I'd found the box and knew about "A." She didn't deny it. Instead, she started crying and apologized, saying she never meant to hurt me and that it "just happened."

She's staying with a friend now, and I'm sitting here in our empty house, trying to make sense of it all. Part of me wants to forgive her, but another part is screaming that I'll never be able to trust her again.

So, what do I do? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Can a marriage survive something like this, or is it time to move on?

No wonder he hasn’t retired yet