Two siblings painting their dad's coffin like he taught them how to paint cars.

[u/just-new-4416]

[u/billyc100373]

Regardless if there’s a promotion, I would think it’s cathartic to say goodbye while giving pops a proper send

We spend way too much time thinking about the end instead of thinking of the life.

[u/Villagedog_lady → u/billyc100373]

There’s a ”death positive” movement growing these past few years that aims to bring people closer and more at ease with death, grief, and burial rites. We as a society (I speak in general of the West but I’m aware there are cultures here too that this doesn’t apply to) have become so distanced from mortality as a concept that it makes saying goodbye and grieving difficult and scary. Death is completely cleaned away and hidden into clinical spaces like hospitals or mortuaries, bodies are never touched by the loved ones and even when there are open caskets, the body has been preserved and make-up applied so they look ”just like they did when they were alive!”

If we brought death back into our homes via wakes, or encouraged people to be more involved in preparing the bodies (cleaning and dressing) and were more open about the choices in terms of funerary rites and practices, death wouldn’t seem so foreign, evil, or frightening to so many people. Grieving would be more normalised and not hidden away like something uncomfortable or even bothersome to the people around you.

So while this sort of thing may strike some as odd or even tacky, I’m all for it. Grieve how you want and normalise being open with grief.

(And hello, fellow Deathlings!)

[u/OverEmployedPM → u/Villagedog_lady]

I would read speaker for the dead. You would like it, changed my view on death

[u/popojo24 → u/OverEmployedPM]

Are you talking about the Orson Scott Card novel? Man, I was maybe 13 when I read that and it was the first book to really hit me in that profound sort of way, where it feels like you are having a very powerful epiphany. That was the first time I can really remember engaging with more philosophical ideas of life and death, as well as analyzing the societal constructs we’re born into, that we don’t tend to question because it’s the only thing we have ever known.

It’s a great novel and a very important one to me.

[u/Confident_One3948 → u/Villagedog_lady]

I think I remember watching a video where some culture keeps the body in the home for up to a week and continues to cook meals for the deceased for that week. Maybe to ease their soul into the afterlife or something.

[u/hey_hey_you_you → u/Villagedog_lady]

Within a Western context, and with the obvious caveat that I'm from here so I'm going to be biased, I think Ireland does death really well. We still have wakes, people stay up drinking and reminiscing with the deceased, who are often reposed at home. Funerals are big, open social events.it wouldn't be unusual for the funeral of a prominent or well-known person in the community to have hundreds of attendees (I don't mean like a local celebrity. But a teacher, or a postman, or just someone that lots of people cross paths with). A cousin of mine sadly had a baby who was stillborn. She brought the baby home for the wider family to meet her and say goodbye before she was laid to rest.

I wouldn't say I personally am as comfortable with death as most of the broader populace here, but I'm a million times more acclimatised to it than, say, most people I've met from the UK.

[u/bain-of-my-existence → u/Villagedog_lady]

Hello fellow deathling! I directly credit Caitlin with how much more comfortable I’ve grown with death, especially since I’m very lucky to not have had many close to me die. Her outlook is so cathartic and really helps remember that dying is just as natural as being born.

[u/space-sage → u/Villagedog_lady]

My husband and I were just saying we love how some cultures have altars or shrines for their dead loved ones in their home or on their property; where they can visit and light candles or incense or leave flowers and treats.

It’s better than a graveyard imo

[u/sullensquirrel → u/Villagedog_lady]

Exactly this!!!