r/clevercomebacks 2d ago

My thumb is the size of a nuke explosion

Post image
72.2k Upvotes

870 comments sorted by

3.2k

u/MimeOverMatter 2d ago

So we are all just gonna ignore the fact that both the car and burger are bigger than the freaking sun and moon! šŸ¤Æ

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u/NotAzakanAtAll 2d ago

I put my dick to the screen. Bro, you won't believe it.

Sandra was so wrong.

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u/Lildickbigshit 2d ago

Let me do the same! ... nope still small

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u/Artistic_Let8511 2d ago

username checks out

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u/Lildickbigshit 1d ago

I still can't believe no one else had it, a couple of years ago I was joking around with some friends about stupid rapper names and it turned out it didn't exist yet so I started making music because I found the name funny lol

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u/MemeKun_19 1d ago

I mean, lil dicky exists

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u/Lildickbigshit 1d ago

But his shit ain't big

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u/the_watcher762351 2d ago

Try putting a shit on the screen

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u/Lildickbigshit 1d ago

Now that's a big shit!

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u/2much_information 1d ago

Keep your chin up, brother. Sandra says that to everyone. You just need a smaller screen.

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u/Lildickbigshit 1d ago

I'm using a Nokia brother

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u/jjskellie 1d ago

Not as big as a burger, huh?

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u/ToothpickTequila 2d ago

Sandra told me the same thing about your dick too. She was wrong.

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u/304bl 1d ago

Stop scrolling you dick !!

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u/foggin_estandards2 1d ago

Don't make me unleash the 4 inch annihilator!

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u/Cephalopod_Dropbear 1d ago

Whyā€™s Sandra always gotta be like that??

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u/Jof3r 2d ago

I don't understand how they got those lines to hover mid air without anyone holding them? Magic? No, probably a miracle from God.. which is a completely different thing than magic.

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u/Exact_Bluebird_6231 2d ago

Only in America smh my head

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u/Entire_Candle59 1d ago

Ā«Only in America shaking my head my headĀ»

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u/VamosAtomos 1d ago

Read this at the ATM machine, entering the PIN number and I lol'ed out loud

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u/Amneiger 1d ago

Hey I always wondered, what does an ATM machine do?

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u/Doitallforbao 1d ago

Makes baby ATM machines

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u/xtopspeed 1d ago

It tells automatically. I'm not sure what it says or to whom.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

After the apocalypse you shall be my Prophet!

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u/xantub 1d ago

That's why we be so fat in 'merica, we eat car-sized burgers AND fries.

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u/Unholy_Santa 2d ago

And so is the tree bellow the moon

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u/krastevitsa 1d ago

Finally a burger that is wider rather than taller!!!

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u/_ragegun 2d ago

"these cows are small, but the ones out there are far away"

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u/6ThePrisoner 2d ago

Good job, Dougal.

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u/Floorspud 2d ago

Careful now.

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u/2shayyy 1d ago

So, SO glad I found this comment near the top haha.

Father Ted still lives on ā¤ļø

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u/4morian5 2d ago edited 2d ago

I want to step away from the stupidity for a second and appreciate what an incredible cosmic coincidence it is that the Moon is exactly far enough away from the Earth to be visibly the same size as the Sun.

And considering the Moon is slowly moving away, that civilization rose at exactly the right time to notice and appreciate things like a solar eclipse.

It's wild.

Edit: Yes, I'm aware they're not EXACTLY the same size relatively. Yes, I know they change relative size as the orbits of the Moon and the Earth dictate. Can we not be pendantic for two seconds and try to just appreciate something as it is?

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u/ThePhantom71319 2d ago

iirc we still have a few hundred million years of eclipses

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u/Much-Resource-5054 2d ago

So glad we have them

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/Javi_DR1 2d ago

Not if you count the antenna :D

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u/tk-451 2d ago

shrinkflation

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u/Blonkington 2d ago

Ohhhhh, so there'll thankfully still be some left when I'm old

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u/FlixMage 2d ago

Idk man you could live to be >400 million years

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u/LeptonTheElementary 2d ago

But what then, huh? WHAT THEN?

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u/jzillacon 2d ago

Eclipses will still happen, but there won't be total eclipses anymore and they will gradually become less and less noticeable until the moon fully escapes earth's orbit or is destroyed by some other cosmic phenomenon.

If an advanced civilization happens to still exist on Earth by that point, they might intentionally give the moon enough of a boost to put it back into eclipse range. Humans are nostalgic like that, so it stands to reason future earthlings would be too.

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u/Zxaber 2d ago

Nostalgia aside, the moon's effect on tides is also pretty important.

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u/AdventurousAward8621 2d ago

If your civilization has enough spare energy to move a moon then things like tides don't really matter.

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u/ultronthedestroyer 2d ago

The moon won't escape Earth's orbit. The moon is moving away due to tidal forces and will eventually move far enough away, and slow Earth's rotation down enough, that the Earth and moon will become tidally locked.

What will happen is that only one side of the Earth will be able to see the moon, similarly to how only one side of the moon can see the Earth. At that point, the moon will stop moving farther away.

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u/DieselPunkPiranha 1d ago

Unless the cats take over.Ā  Then, they'll construct a giant paw to knock it out of orbit sooner.

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u/N3vermore77 2d ago

We reel it in closer for a couple more million. What, does the moon think it can just clock out into retirement like that? In this economy??

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u/linuxgeekmama 1d ago

There will still be annular eclipses, where a ring of sun is visible around the moon at ā€œtotalityā€ (itā€™s called annularity). The corona isnā€™t visible during annular eclipses.

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u/AndreasDasos 2d ago

*total

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u/ThePhantom71319 2d ago

Right, my bad. Normal eclipses will be happening as long as the moon still exists

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u/Corporate-Shill406 2d ago

If we're still around then, we'll have the technology to reshape the planets however we want.

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u/Reqvhio 2d ago edited 23m ago

meanwhile berserk fans šŸ˜§

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u/Azuras-Becky 2d ago

Civilisation, on the other hand...

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u/MyBallsSmellFruity 1d ago

Just no humans left to enjoy them.Ā 

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u/simple_test 1d ago

Going to miss them later. Enjoy while you can.

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u/cosmic_cosmosis 1d ago

Well, guess Iā€™ll try and enjoy them while I still can.

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u/inu-no-policemen 2d ago

They are roughly the same size in the sky, but the most important thing in this context is that it actually varies by a few percent.

That's why there are total solar eclipses where the moon covers the whole thing and annular solar eclipses where you can see a ring of fire.

Conveniently, the Wikipedia article got the images for that right at the beginning of the page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_eclipse

Fun fact: Over time, we can see a bit more than half of the moon since it got a bit of a wobble:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lunar_libration_with_phase_Oct_2007_HD.gif

(I'm really not sure why some flerfs believe that the moon emits its own light. Just look how those craters are lit up by some other mysterious light source.)

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u/SirBulbasaur13 2d ago

You should look into everything to do with the moon, its size, its proximity, its orbit. Itā€™s all incredibly unique.

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u/StreetofChimes 2d ago

I love our moon. I am so sad it is leaving us.

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u/I_HAVE_THAT_FETISH 2d ago

Honestly, I can't blame it. If I had the opportunity, I'd leave us too.

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u/Throwaway8789473 2d ago

Don't worry. It'll hatch long before it flings itself off into space. If you look outside right now the cracks are already beginning to form.

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u/Anakins-Younglings 1d ago

Unexpected doctor who?

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u/5nackB4r 2d ago

Although I agree with the sentiment, as after all total solar eclipses are a thing to behold, they're not "exactly" the same visible size in the sky. They still differ ever so slightly, and over the course of a whole year, the distance between the Earth and the Sun compared to the distance between the Earth and our Moon also changes by a not insignificant amount.

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u/aphinity_for_reddit 2d ago

Yeah, sometimes the moon is huge when it's rising at certain times of the year. Looks twice the size as normal.

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u/confusedandworried76 2d ago edited 2d ago

If it looks big when rising that's just an atmospheric illusion. Not exactly sure how it works but basically because of all the atmosphere the light has to get through it causes a magnifying affect as the light gets abnormally distorted.

Edit not true several people are telling me, it's just forged perspective

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u/zeuanimals 2d ago

That's also why the earth looks round to you round earthers, but it's not. Checkmate. /s

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u/NW_reeferJunky 2d ago

So your flat earth is what a hexagon or square?

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u/Emergency-Anywhere51 2d ago

It's a turtle, ya moran

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u/OrganizdConfusion 2d ago

Oh boy, did you fuck up.

It's a disk on the back of four elephants on the back of a giant turtle.

Do your own research.

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u/SvenTurb01 2d ago

Both of you forgetting the ice wall, goddamn ille.. Illo, no.. illiter.. Fucking idiots.

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u/NW_reeferJunky 2d ago

Thats a hard argument . Iā€™m a turtle earther now

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u/Sparticasticus 2d ago

R/unexpecteddiscworld

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u/pimpmastahanhduece 2d ago

Isn't it supposed to be an infinite plane of matter with an ice wall?

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u/aDvious1 2d ago

Nah, that's atmospheric lensing you're referring to. It can cause the moon to look a little elongated like a football but not larger in any significant way.

The reason it looks larger near the horizon is due to perspective of trees/buildings etc. If you took a caliper and measured the moon high in the sky and compared it to near the horizon, it would be roughly the same.

It's like forced perspective with Gandalf in LoTR or Buddy in Elf.

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u/lugoues 2d ago

And this is why you can never get a photograph of what you perceive the moon to be

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u/EvolvedA 2d ago

Or use extreme zoom and make it look huge

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u/HuntlyBypassSurgeon 2d ago

Yes exactly, it is a mental thing. To maximise the effect, look at the moon on the horizon while driving directly towards it on a very long road (if you can find such a road in the right position!) Itā€™s insane how big it looks.

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u/The_Reset_Button 2d ago

That's not true, it's because it's closer to the horizon which and your brain has more information about how big it could be and overestimates. It's exactly the same size to your eyes.

You can verify it's not being magnified by the atmosphere by using your thumb at arms length to check it's relative size (should be about as big as your thumbnail, than wait till it rises further and do the same thing. It will be the same size. You can also take two pictures at the same zoom level and it'll be the same amount of pixels across

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u/Throwaway8789473 2d ago

The moon's orbit is elliptical. At its perigee (the closest point to the earth) it's about 25,000 miles closer to the Earth (about 10% closer) than at its apogee, thus why it looks bigger in the night sky. When you get a full moon near the perigee, that's when you get a supermoon which appears about 10% bigger in the night sky as a result.

Not that the magnification effect you're describing doesn't happen, but you can see both in the same night. The moon appears larger as it rises and gets smaller in the night sky, but if you stretch out your thumb and hold it next to the moon during a supermoon and during a micromoon, or apogee full moon, you'll be able to tell that it's smaller.

Don't trust me, trust NASA. Here's their page explaining how a supermoon works.

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u/Durr1313 2d ago

Living near Mt. Rainier my whole life, I swear this same effect applies to mountains as well.

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u/erwin76 2d ago

I always think the opposite: when a mountain rises into the sky it looks waaaaay bigger!

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u/S2580 2d ago

When you shoot the moon with a sniper rifle it changes sizes too. So definitely not the same size as the sunĀ 

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u/Lachshmock 2d ago

The moon's relative size is only roughly 11% larger (napkin math) when it's orbiting closest to us than when it's furthest away, think a lot of that perceived difference in size is mostly an illusion based on the context of where it rises in the sky.

If it rises behind a distant tall building it's gonna appear a hell of a lot larger than simply rising over the ocean where there's nothing to put it into scale.

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u/KrypXern 2d ago

Yeah, sometimes the moon is huge when it's rising at certain times of the year. Looks twice the size as normal.

This is actually a psychological effect

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u/4Throw2My0Ass6Away9 2d ago

Bruh be quiet lmao let em enjoy it

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u/olorin-stormcrow 2d ago

Everything gets further apart the closer you measure it. Itā€™s still pretty incredible they, to the human eye, are so close in the sky.

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u/GENERlC-USERNAME 2d ago

Although I agree with the sentiment, the moon is indeed ā€œexactlyā€ the size needed for solar eclipses to happen.

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u/EconomyPrior5809 2d ago

Itā€™s the best reason I can imagine advanced aliens might visit earth. Of course any space ship can line up at the right distance and place to see a perfect eclipse but it might be cool to see it naturally from a planetā€™s surface.

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u/waterlawyer 2d ago

Ancient Wonders of the Natural Universe

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u/Magic_SeaSponge 2d ago

Itā€™s even more incredible how that burger is the same size as the car

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u/Musetrigger 2d ago

I saw the eclipse in April. It was the most frighteningly beautiful thing I ever witnessed.

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u/Successful_Cicada419 2d ago

Imagine you're an ancient civilization and you didn't have the news to tell you it was going to happen then one day the sun disappears for some reason. 100x more frightening

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u/suriam321 2d ago

The moon and the sun having the total eclipse is probably one of the reasons why many ā€œmain godsā€ are based around the sun. The coldness that follows an eclipse gives a really good indication of how much simply the presence of the sun affects life on earth.

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u/PM_Me_Ur_Clues 2d ago

This is not true. It sometimes appears as the same size and sometimes the sun is much larger because the distance of the sun from the Earth changes constantly throughout the year.

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u/SonOfJokeExplainer 2d ago

Still, the sun is roughly 400 times the size of the moon and roughly 400 times as far from the earth as the moon, and that is why they appear to be the same size in the sky even if they are varying degrees of similar in size depending.

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u/Ghede 2d ago

Look, as one pedant to another, Science language and common parlance are different for a reason. Science needs to be precise in it's use of language in papers, to avoid errors in calculations.

Common parlance, nobody is calculating shit. You are conveying broad strokes, to people who barely give a shit but to at least give them a rough idea that they will misremember later anyways or have to look up for the actual answer. Precision is counter-productive, because people will just get confused or irritated, or it gives them MORE details to misremember, and spread.

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u/Bingbong31415 2d ago

Have you seen how ugly Mars' solar eclipse is

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u/professor735 2d ago

I saw the solar eclipse back in April and it was genuinely one of the most breathtaking things I've ever seen. There was an aura of cosmic wonder at being able to witness an event so spectacularly rare and weird. If you ever get a chance to see one, go do it.

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u/Schemen123 2d ago

Coincidence.......

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u/Nightingdale099 2d ago

Can we not be pendantic for two seconds and try to just appreciate something as it is?

The NDT is reproducing by budding.

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u/Accomplished-Cat3996 2d ago

Can we not be pendantic for two seconds

asking for real miracles now

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u/Character-Dingo-4332 2d ago

Reddit being pendantic is the reason I don't comment. The amount of "well actually"'s on this site is exhausting.

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u/NonEuclidianMeatloaf 1d ago

There are a lot of neat cosmic coincidences. Like the fact that Saturnā€™s rings arenā€™t really that old and if the dinosaurs had had telescopes, they wouldā€™ve seen a ringless Saturn.

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u/ephemeralspecifics 2d ago

Ducking Enoch? Using the Hebrew Bible brother? What other heretical script are you planning to use?

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u/rtf2409 2d ago

Not just the Hebrew Bibleā€¦ a book of the Hebrew Bible only used by Ethiopian Jews lol

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u/nosoulbeanpole 2d ago

English bibles used to contain a section called the apocrypha. I heard it explained as religious texts that could be helpful but not canonical. I canā€™t remember the date when they stopped printing it but in the last couple of years I heard others mention the book of Enoch more frequently, must be some reason for the resurgence

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u/rtf2409 2d ago

Catholics and orthodox always used the apocrypha but yeah itā€™s non canonical. Iā€™m not Catholic or orthodox so I donā€™t really understand why they use it but donā€™t let it into the actual Bible.

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u/AnAngeryGoose 2d ago

Catholics do use the deuterocanonical books as canonical. A few other books like 3rd and 4th Maccabees and the Prayer of Manasseh were preserved in Bible appendixes because it was feared they might become lost if they were removed from publication. Early Protestant Bibles moved the deuterocanonical books into the appendix too, but later cut them out to save on paper costs.

More widely rejected books like Enoch aren't usually published in regular Bibles from what I've seen. They're generally alone or as collections of multiple apocryphal and pseudopigraphical texts.

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u/fantasy_with_bjarne 2d ago

For catholics and orthodox it is canon and part of the actual bible.The reason protestants don't use it, mostly comes down to Jews not using them, though the early church generally did use these books. Hieronymus also saw them as lesser though, but he was one of the few church fathers who did. Martin Luther also considered removing some of the New Testament books that didn't really fit his view of christianity. A lot of protestant churches, mostly European, still use them as books with value but no canonical value, Americans mostly just got rid of them around the 19th century.

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u/Emergency-Anywhere51 2d ago

From what I understand the Apocrypha were cut out of Bibles printed in the 17th century to save on printing costs

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u/Supernova141 2d ago

you can pick and choose which books to use?

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u/Farseli 2d ago

Always have been.

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u/Temporary_Carrot7855 2d ago

This has got to be a shitpost, no fundie Christian will ever refer to the book of Enoch.

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u/Shaddam_Corrino_IV 1d ago

Some flat-earthers are not your average type of Christians. I've seen references to Enoch.

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u/AwfulUsername123 1d ago

Enoch is a very popular book on r/conspriacy!

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u/Iron-Junimo 2d ago

And as any moronic thumper would not be able to understand, itā€™s out of context

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u/Shaddam_Corrino_IV 1d ago

What do you mean that it's "out of context"?

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u/L0nz 2d ago

Also kind of glossing over the whole "sevenfold" brighter bit. At best moonlight is 0.3 lux and sunlight is 120,000 lux on the surface of Earth, so a factor of 400,000.

There are arguments to be made about apparent brightness due to the human eye adjusting for darkness but it will still be many, many, MANY times more than 7

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u/Smashifly 1d ago

And I mean the quoted verse is like literally just an observation, it just says "yo the sun and moon are like the same size in the sky" why would that mean anything more

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ 2d ago

This is obviously dumb. But the fact that the sun and the moon are the same size from our point of view despite their vast difference in size and distance is a total coincidence.

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u/jwadamson 2d ago

They are just ā€œcloseā€ to the same size and they both change apparent sizes during the orbit of the moon around the earth and earth around the sun.

Thatā€™s why annular eclipses are thing, when the moon is ā€œtoo smallā€ to cover the sun. A few thousand years ago there would have been a higher proportion of total eclipses and fewer annular and that trend will continue until total eclipses become impossible.

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u/Tastemyface 2d ago

It's amazing how celestial mechanics unfold over time, shaping our cosmic perspectives.

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u/qdp 2d ago

Apparently 600 million years, it will be too far away to produce total eclipses.

I feel kinda of sad for my fellow earthlings of the future.

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u/Ajunadeeper 2d ago

I wouldn't worry too much about that friend. Homo sapiens will be extinct. Maybe some new species descended from us will be here but humans will be gone.

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u/qdp 2d ago

Catgirls and lizard people will rule the world. Without solar eclipses.

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u/Belkan-Federation95 2d ago

You never know. Plenty of species survived hundreds of millions of years

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u/b0bba_Fett 1d ago

Now I'm not a paleontologist, but as an ameteur enthusiast I struggle to think of too many, usually after a hundred million years, they've become a different species, heck, even genera are somewhat rare to survive that long. Families and classes sure, happens all the time, but an individual species?

A hundred million years is a long time.

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u/jimmycarr1 1d ago

Or we will be a new breed of superhumans building thrusters on the moon to push it back into eclipse orbit to relive the good old days.

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u/AfraidToBeKim 2d ago

It is a very interesting coincidence, but it doesn't really prove anything.

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u/Adevyy 2d ago

It sort of proves that whoever wrote that text looked at Sun and Moon and went "Yup, they are the same size" without knowing their actual sizes, lol.

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u/porkins4lyfe 2d ago

This is the answer. I forget the exact number, but the sun is x-amount bigger than the moon, but the moon is x-amount closer to the earth hence the equal sizes from our perspective. It is also why we have total eclipses; an incredibly rare phenomenon

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u/Excellent_Stand_7991 2d ago

Let's not also forget that atmospheric refraction affects how we view both the sun and the moon.

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u/llLimitlessCloudll 2d ago

The sun is 400x larger than the moon but the moon is 400x closer

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u/ThatGuyWithCoolHair 2d ago

Whats funnier is that the sun is actually smaller than it looks to our eyes as well

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u/Tibki 2d ago

It's such a goddamn shame when conspiracy theories take away from the actual, interesting truth.

The Sun is 400x larger than the Moon. The Moon is 400x closer. This literal celestial coincidence means they're both 0.5degrees in size in the sky, and it's why we have eclipses. It happens nowhere else in the Solar System (that I'm aware of), and it's only possible because our Moon is unique in its history and makeup--being a part of an early Earth that was literally smacked off of us by a collision with another planet sized object several billion years ago.

But when I try and bring cool stuff like this up in public, the only people to engage and ask questions are the ones who say that aliens must have visited humanity because how else could we have developed technology like cell phones. :(

Enjoy finding truth! Be curious and don't stop engaging! And don't settle for surface observations.

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u/Sideswipe0009 2d ago

It's such a goddamn shame when conspiracy theories take away from the actual, interesting truth.

Sadly, for way too many, those truths point to a spherical Earth, but they don't want to hear any of that.

Can't grift if people were smart enough to know these flerfs were just conmen.

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u/TheDivineRat_ 2d ago

Im pretty sure it isnā€™t sevenfold but thatā€™s small part of the issue

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u/westcoastwillie23 2d ago

Sevenfold? That would be a Nightmare.

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u/TheCobaltEffect 2d ago

You must be Avenged!

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u/FastROgamer 1d ago

Idk, I think we would just be living on A Little Piece Of Heaven

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u/ByeGuysSry 2d ago

I believe that at that time, in the original language, seven also meant "a lot".

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u/Thue 2d ago

Too late now to claim it is a metaphor. Now we will burn you at the stake if you don't literally believe that the sun is 7 times brighter than the moon. God said so.

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u/DarthJoseph14 2d ago

The Bible line seems more metaphorical then literal

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Johannes_Keppler 2d ago

It's a book both groups generally ignore the actual teachings from.

Ironically worshipping the book and not its content makies it a religious effigy,, which according to the book one shouldn't worship.

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u/angus22proe 2d ago

The book of Enoch is widely considered heretical and also fucking insane

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u/nonsensicalsite 2d ago

The entire series of books is insane god kills a man's entire family just to win a bet with Satan and then just gives the man a new family as if that solves anything and we're supposed to see this as a positive thing for God???

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u/AnAngeryGoose 2d ago

Interestingly, the part about God making a bet with Satan has made scholars believe it was one of the earliest books to be written since Satan's depicted as the "accuser", a sort of heavenly prosecuting attorney, instead of the more modern corrupting agent of evil opposed to God.

Some of the language in it also possibly implies God is one of multiple deities (though it is ambiguous), indicating it could have come from a tradition of Monism (having an exclusive patron deity but acknowledging the existence of others) rather than total Monotheism (our deity is the only one that exists).

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u/nonsensicalsite 2d ago

(having an exclusive patron deity but acknowledging the existence of others)

An interesting thing about that is I believe you could interpret the ten commandments as hinting at the existence of other gods

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me" that's not stating there are no other gods just that you will not put any of them before him

Haven't heard anyone really argue that aside from me though

since Satan's depicted as the "accuser", a sort of heavenly prosecuting attorney, instead of the more modern corrupting agent of evil opposed to God.

Satan comes across as the far more reasonable sane safe individual to me he calls God out on things doesn't harm anyone as God proceeds to torture a man and his family who were all devoted followers just to win a bet

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u/llhell 1d ago

"no other gods before me" might have this meaning in English, but the original Hebrew script does not sound like that. The Hebrew text is a bit archaic but pretty clearly means "no other gods instead of me" Having said that, there are many places where God is referred to in plural or female, which could indicate such influences

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u/THEBHR 2d ago

That's because Satan is a heavenly prosecuting attorney. If I recall correctly, the word "devil" doesn't even show up once in the Old Testament. That's a New Testament invention. And people started conflating Satan and The Devil because... well... prosecutors are the devil. Especially when they're building a case against your immortal soul.

But Satan is very much working for God, and The Devil against.

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u/G36 2d ago

Enochian magic

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u/Belkan-Federation95 2d ago

Part of the reason it's considered heretical is that it conflicts with the Torah, if I understand correctly.

It was never widely followed.

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u/TheRealSpiraz 2d ago

What? There is nothing metaphorical about this line. This is a description of what people writing the book saw in the sky, and knowing the available tools back then, it's a good enough simplification for their purposes.

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u/AwfulUsername123 1d ago

In context, Enoch is describing how the Sun and the Moon function. It's very obviously a literal statement about the size of the Sun and the Moon.

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u/SnooRobots5231 2d ago

This cow is small that cow is far away .

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u/oevadle 2d ago

Omg! How are you holding that? Your hands are huuuge!

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u/Door_Knob_Hoff 2d ago

ā€œYouā€™re never going to believe the size of my cockā€

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u/MorallyComplicated 2d ago

I am so sick of slowing down for people who believe folklore and fairytales not only happened but that their interpretation of it supersedes societal laws and wisdom.

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u/Batmanswrath 2d ago edited 2d ago

I don't even say goodbye to people that bring up the bible, I just walk away. It really seems to annoy most of them- 10/10, would recommend.

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u/ObiWanJimobi 2d ago

...OK, one last time. These are small... but the ones out there are far away.

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u/a_preshis_juul 2d ago

I hate when conspiracy theorists use religious texts to justify their stupidity.

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u/vasekgamescz 2d ago

people in ancient times: i have no idea what this thing is or why it happens, so let me make theory with this very limited information i have and construct an argument that makes just enough sense to me.

Modern time people: Old guy in book said it so it must be true.

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u/pt256 2d ago

Modern time people: Old guy in book said it so it must be true.

It is kind of funny how people both over and underestimate peoples knowledge and intelligence in the past. Back then we would have spent way more time looking at the night sky so figuring out when and where things were going to be was a consequence of that. Nowadays most of us spend most of our time indoors so we've lost that connection to the night sky so people think it is crazy that people back were able to make those predictions (even though we are talking about entire civilizations watching the same things for centuries, of course they'd develop a solid foundational understanding of what is going to happen). Same thing with the sun and the seasons. But conversely they also got a lot of things wrong because they didn't have the same tools we have today to look deeper into the problems they were trying to understand, and in those cases yeah they basically just made some shit up that they thought fit. It was not mystical knowledge being discovered, they'd just hit their limit on what they could figure out.

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u/ds77159 2d ago

Digging deep when you have to fall back to the book of Enoch.

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u/Helios61 2d ago

Hmmm I'm not sure chief

does anyone have a banana for scale?

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u/ImpromptuFanfiction 2d ago

My dick is about the size of a bridge pylon if I line it up right

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u/Bahnmor 2d ago

Ok Dougal, letā€™s try this again:

These are small, but the ones out there are far away.

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u/HotMorning3413 1d ago

Father Ted likes this thread.

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u/SPY007DRs-Messenger 2d ago

Did they really just use a Bible verse? A paragraph from a magic book that was written when people thought the earth was the center of the universe, to prove that the sun and moon are the same size?

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u/Lowherefast 2d ago

No they took it a step further and used a verse that even Christians and Jews donā€™t believe is canon

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u/alonerlikeanyone 2d ago

I'd like to step aside from the idiocy and declare I like the way you think :)

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u/XShadowborneX 2d ago

Ok, I see no one has asked the important question yet. Is that a really big burger or a really small car????

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u/United_Link4446 2d ago

You have to be slow as snail in youā€™re head to believe that sun and moon are same sizešŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

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u/rci22 2d ago

My wife thought theyā€™re the same size šŸ„²

As someone who loves physics and space, I was horrified and she was mad at me for making a big deal out of being shocked, asking why itā€™s so important for her to know. I didnā€™t have a good answer.

I think it was mostly ā€œif you didnā€™t know that then what else will your judgement do throughout the future of our marriage?ā€

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u/Nashville3 2d ago

My hot dog is twice as long as my dick

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u/wulfryke 2d ago

now put that burger next to the sun and you can have a sun sized burger. meat for the entire planet, you'd be rich!

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u/-hugdealer- 2d ago

Ted, holding a small toy cow: ā€œOk, one last timeā€¦ This one is small, but the ones out there are _far away_ā€

Dougal: *Confused expression intensifies

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u/Many_Lynx_781 2d ago

My d*ck same size as burj khalifa....lmao

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u/_Fox_464 2d ago

Enoch if God actually told him how the solar system works and that they arent actually the same size but are the same size frim the Earth because of science stuff:

Enoch: "Me no understand"

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u/Unclestanky 2d ago

But if the moon was made of ribs, would you eat it?

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u/Vietnugget 2d ago

Itā€™s even dumber considering itā€™s two separate images for the sun and moon

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u/chocChipMonk 2d ago

cool, found people from flatland, wonder if we get to see more 2D people

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u/OldAd5925 2d ago

(some) christians in the US are a shame to all other Christians in the West who already stopped believing absurdly dumb stuff such as flat earth already 100 years ago.

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u/super_argentdawn 2d ago

Mmmm big burger

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u/ChrysisLT 2d ago

Why does he need such a big burger?

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u/Panda_hat 1d ago

Jokes aside is is an incredible coincidence that the sun and moon are the exact relative size to us.

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u/ravenx92 1d ago

This cow is small. This cow is far away. Small. Far away.

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u/UltratagPro 1d ago

I will give them that, you had to hold the burger so it looks the same

It is a brilliant coincidence that the sun and moon appear the same size, and it's helpful so that we can understand the sun's corona.

But in all of science, there would have to be at least one coincidence like this.

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u/ambiuk21 1d ago

Americans eat burgers šŸ” as big as cars!

No wonder thereā€™s a health crisis over there! šŸ˜±

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u/hellofmyowncreation 1d ago

And he uses the book of Enoch? Not one of the books in common with wider Bibles; no, the angelfic three-parter that only the Amharic Church uses

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u/Fragrant_Excuse5 1d ago

I'm convinced some people are just literally wired differently. Also having a sensible chuckle at quoting the "book of Enoch" as some sort of definitive proof of... something?

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u/Big_Luck_7402 1d ago edited 1d ago

It is actually pretty neat that the sun and moon appear to be about the same size. It means that the sun is equally larger than the moon and further from the earth than the moon is. Like however much larger the sun is than the moon, it is also that much further away. Solar eclipses aren't a given on every planet with a moon, and those solar eclipses would look very different.