r/AskReddit • u/perfectlysaneboy • 2d ago
What was a traumatic childhood memory that changed your life?
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u/whatintheactualfeth 2d ago
I can list a bunch, but one that always sticks out is "the hospital incident". I was riding in the backseat of my Aunts car when we got t-boned on my side of the car. I had got a small boom box for Christmas a few weeks before, and it was between me and the car when we got hit. It drove the boom box into my side so hard that it broke in several places.
My ribs hurt pretty bad, so we went to the ER for xrays. Apparently, sometime while we were there, my mother decided she needed to drink to calm her nerves or something. By the time I was done, no broken bones just bruising, she was shit faced. Like making it to the vestibule of the hospital and deciding that's a good place for a nap, shit faced.
We tried to get her up, nothing. Hospital staff tried to get her up, nothing, so they called the cops. Cop shows up, wrestles her to her feet, and cuffs her. He was ready to take her to jail and realized I was there with nobody else, so he gave us a ride home instead.
We were both in the backseat, her cuffed, and she looked over at me, her 10 year old son. "Got a cigarette?"
Almost 40 years ago, and I still remember that question vividly.
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u/ShamelessFox 2d ago
This sounds like a really, really, dark comedy.
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u/whatintheactualfeth 2d ago
It kinda was. It really affected my sense of humor as an adult. Not a lot of things shock me anymore, either.
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u/Spiritual-Injury6558 2d ago
I was around 11 and was walking home late from school one day. A man stopped me and asked if I could watch out for him while he peed in some bushes. After about 5-10 minutes of him staring at me from the bushes 'peeing', I said I had to go home and walked away.
The realisation of what he would have actually been doing didn't hit me until I was about 20.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 2d ago
This reminds me of the time we were little kids, a neighborhood group of 3 or 4 of us, the oldest probably around age 7. Some young guy (maybe late teens, early 20s) came up to us and asked us if we'd like to see a cool trick. He led us over to some opening in the tall bushes/trees and proceeded to show us how he could make "worms" come out of his penis.
We all thought it was extremely entertaining.
When I got back home (only a few doors down from this incident), I told my Mom about this guy and his amazingly neat trick. She promptly picked up a rolling pin and asked me which direction this guy had taken. Man, was she pissed. She went straight out the door, but --- lucky for him --- she never found the guy.
It never felt like a traumatic experience, since my Mom was actually pretty level-headed about it. She didn't accuse us of being stupid or make us feel like we'd done anything wrong. I don't remember any of us kids ever mentioning it again.
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u/webcrawler_29 2d ago
my Mom was actually pretty level-headed about it. She didn't accuse us of being stupid or make us feel like we'd done anything wrong
This is really awesome of your mom, actually. Mine was quite the opposite, so I'm glad there are moms out there that have their kids' backs.
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u/CatMom8787 2d ago
Told my son I'd always have his back, from the day he was born until the day I die.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 2d ago
I think two of the best things a mother/father than tell their child is:
1) No matter what the problem is, no matter how bad you think things are ---- you can always come to me and we'll figure it out/work through it.
2) I'm so happy you have a mind of your own. I'd hate it if you always agreed with me on everything, even when you didn't feel the same way about things.
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u/Appropriate_Oil_8703 2d ago
I was walking home with my two sisters. We were 7, 4 and 3. This was in our neighborhood, a block away. A blue car pulled up next to us and the driver rolled down the window and asked if we wanted some candy. My baby sister moved toward the car (I was in thinking yes) and my older sister pulled us back. She told us to run and we all did. When we got home my mom callef the police. We related all the details. Had either my little sister or I been walking alone we might not be here today.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 2d ago
Religion is not my thing at all, but when I read/hear about child predators my first thought is, "There has to be a special place in Hell for such monsters." My second thought is: "These sick, depraved men should be strung up and left to die slowly, horribly." Pedophiles, human traffickers, the lot of them. Scum of the Earth.
I cannot abide persons who harm children or sexually abuse others.
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u/CallingDrDingle 2d ago
I was an adult when this happened. I was 21 and still living at home working and finishing college.
Long story short I found out I had a brain tumor. The morning I had to go to the hospital to be admitted my dad told me to write him a check (this was in 1995) for my car payment and insurance because he didn’t know how long I’d be in the hospital.
We had plenty of money. It wasn’t about that. I’m 50 now and I’m pretty resilient.
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u/AnnoyingChoices 2d ago
Sounds like my dad. We're just cells in their spreadsheet, not cells that make up a human.
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u/gameryamen 2d ago
I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. Dad was at work, Mom was busy with a photography client, so my younger sister and I were being supervised by dad's hippie friend. Friend decided to take us to the park, so we hopped in his van. We didn't know at the time, but he'd parked near a wasp nest, and opening his door bumped a branch that disturbed the hive. (To this day, I don't know how this hadn't been caught sooner, he must have done the same thing when he parked.)
So the van is swarming with angry wasps, and our panic to get out of the van made everything worse. We all got stung a bunch, but somehow Friend got us back in the van and took us to the park. I was absolutely shook, hurting, scared, and totally confused about why the bugs hated me. I needed a hug. What I got was a hippie trying his best to explain to me that the wasps all just wanted to chill and how he tried to talk to them calmly, and that really we were the ones invading their space. I get what he was going for now, but at the time it felt a lot like a lecture.
After that swarm, I refused to go outside in the summer during daylight hours unless absolutely forced. My parents once offered me $50 just to go out for two hours and I turned it down. My parents understood where my fear came from, but they called this a "bee phobia", so that's what I grew up thinking of it as. I eventually gained enough self-control to make myself tolerate being outside, as long as bees didn't get too close. If one landed on me, instant panic attack.
In my mid 30's, I told this story to a therapist, and she kindly pointed out that "phobias are irrational, you have a trauma response to a real thing that happened. That's different." She gave me some advice about altering the memory, imposing a new ending where I get a hug from my future, grown up self. It sounded a little silly, but it fucking worked. Later that summer, a yellow-jacket landed on my arm, crawled around, and flew away. I didn't even tear up.
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u/Mbluish 2d ago
My therapist gave me the same advice about my child-self receiving a hug from my adult-self. It was so comforting.
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u/jo-z 2d ago
I don't even have any particularly severe childhood traumas, and imagining my current self giving my child self a hug has me feeling all emotional. What a tender thought.
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u/SharMarali 2d ago
I had a therapist help me with a similar technique once. Basically someone had shouted in my face and really freaked me out, I was still upset about it weeks later. She had me remember as clearly as I could and then dress up the yelling person in a ridiculous costume in my memory. I felt like a perfect ass doing it, but just like you, it worked. It’s really amazing what the human mind can do with a little expert guidance!
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u/hellerinahandbasket 2d ago
For some reason this gave me goosebumps. What a cool thing to be able to rewrite the story ending like that. I'm so fascinated that the mind is so malleable like that, you just need the right guidance!
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u/ToastiGhostii 2d ago
I've been calling it a "bee-phobia" for myself as well. Had a bee fly into the leg of my shorts while sitting in the grass at 5 years old. It must've freaked out, because it stung my left side, and in a panic I started rubbing my hand over the area trying to get whatever it was out. I somehow smacked the stinger out of my side, making it stick into my armpit. I ran inside in hysterics, my parents, siblings, and grandma who we all lived with were totally confused. I smacked my armpit and, you guessed it: I relocated the stinger once again into the web of my right hand, between my middle and index fingers. So I made a bee, who usually can only sting once and dies, "sting" me 3 times. Bees, yellow jackets, anything of that realm have always been my #1 fear. At around 10 I had one fly into the car on a family road trip. Woke up from my nap to feeling something on my knee. All it took was seeing the yellow on its body. I started screaming and tried opening my door to get away from it...on the freeway. I'm 32 now and still that intense fear exists, I just know not to jump out of a moving car due to one now.
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u/Serious-Rutabaga-603 2d ago
I was 12 watching Batman beyond. My 16 year old sister stumbled into my room drunk and very high. I’m not sure the drug, it wasn’t just weed. My dad helped her to her room. He stood outside her room watching her sleep on her side, he was crying. I gave him a hug. I never really drank, never touched drugs. I’d always think about my dad watching my sister sleep and crying in the hallway.
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u/mollierocket 2d ago edited 1d ago
How impactful a moment. How is your sister now, if you don’t mind my asking?
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u/Serious-Rutabaga-603 2d ago
She’s good. She did go to rehab and got clean and has stayed clean for over a decade.
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u/Opposite-Act-7413 2d ago
So, I have a heart condition that requires a pacemaker. I have always had a pacemaker since I was a baby. It’s always been normal for me. Anyway, when I was about 10 years old I went in for a regular check. I got an EKG which is routine for anyone with a device like mine. I still don’t know exactly what happened. I just remember that it was one of the students conducting my EKG…probably a second year student if I had to guess. Anyway, I guess he had a programmer or something (that’s what they call the computers that allow them to make adjustments to the pacing of the device). I really don’t know. All I know is I was fine then next thing I knew all of the blood just drained and I couldn’t see. I couldn’t feel my tongue. I fell down. I was weak. Somehow the pacing for my device got set dangerously low. I require 100% pacing. My heart is pretty useless on its own. That was the first time I ever recognized how weak I was and how desperate I was in terms of of my health. It’s a lot to process at 10. Anyway, the student recognized what was wrong and fixed it right away, so no long term health issues or anything. Just felt the true weight of my mortality right before I had to go back to school.
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u/yeehaw_batman 2d ago
right after graduating high school I started working as an EMT and there was a shooting at my old school. I was one of the first people to arrive on scene after the shooter was arrested and having to do triage on my old classmates was absolutely heartbreaking. I honestly don’t remember much of what I saw but I vividly remember coming across a body that had been shot so many times it was completely unrecognizable but and then seeing a friendship bracelet covered in blood and realizing that the body was one of the girls I was in a school musical with during my junior year because everyone who was in one specific song made matching bracelets and I still had mine on when I found her.
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u/AwkwardInsect 2d ago
I went to a high school with a school shooting back in the 90s. Every year on the anniversary, one history teacher will retell the events of that day from his perspective. He continued to teach in the same room, and he would retrace his step.
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u/RunsForFun1981 2d ago
I don't remember how old I was, but definitely elementary school. I wet the bed and my mom spiraled. I just remember her throwing me on the bed, grabbed my ponytail and continuously slammed my head in the wall, screaming directly into my ears. I was forced to sit on the bed all day and sleep in my own "filth" because I was a "pig"
...and then she wonders why I don't come around.
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u/Careless-Two2215 2d ago
My mom just recently told the story about my trauma and she thought it was a funny story. She also went bat shit crazy and threw my small body against the wall and beat the shit out of me. She didn't tell that part. She told the part about me hiding half-eaten food in the couch. How funny and cooky and crazy of me to be stealing food from my brother's mouth only to hide it under the couch. She still talks about me like I'm crazy.
The way I remember the trauma, she forced my sibling and I to eat a pound of a raw delicacy from her native country. Imagine eating a giant raw sea snail against your will because it is expensive in China and it will waste. My younger sibling would pretend to eat it and hide it under the table. Then I'd sneak it out of the room and hide the pieces. I got caught. Then beaten.
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u/OfficiousJ 2d ago
I wet the bed when I was a kid, and nothing I did seemed to work. I tried an alarm, I tried not drinking anything a few hours before bed, barely drinking liquids all day, etc. I even prayed to God every night, nothing worked.
My mom used to constantly yell at me that if I didn’t stop no man would ever want me as a wife, because no one wants to get peed on.
I eventually grew up enough where my bladder was big enough for my body and it stopped, but how my mom acted really messed with me, and I constantly find myself questioning if I’m really worthy of my husband’s love
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u/noob_angler 2d ago
Similar experience when I was 6 or 7. I always think back to that when I think of my mother. She’s not around anymore though.
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u/Individual_Ebb3219 2d ago
Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry that happened to you. I hope you have been able to move past her abuse.
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u/PuddleLilacAgain 2d ago
After my brother died, I randomly (in my 40s) remembered that he had m*lested me when we were children (he was older).
Long story short, I went into shock, learned about repressed memories, told my parents, was yelled at by mom for talking about it in public, realized my family was F'd up, went NC with my parents, got into trauma therapy, now doing much better.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 2d ago
Many years ago, a buddy of mine asked me to go to a "Take Back the Night" rally with him. Before we left the house, he told me that his older brother had raped him while they were both quite young --- in the bathtub. I could tell this was something he needed to share with me. I felt deeply touched that he knew I would listen and understand.
It was so awful to see how that experience had affected him. He said his brother refused to admit what had happened.
My friend is the nicest, most mellow guy you'd ever want to meet. Women adore him, guys admire him (he's a martial arts instructor). He has had one failed marriage, but his life is pretty good. I feel lucky that he is in my life.
I am so sorry you have had to deal with such terrible memories. I'm glad therapy has helped you.
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u/PuddleLilacAgain 2d ago
That is horrible. There are so many wounds that children deal with. I feel that as adults we really let them down. It's good that people are talking about it more.
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u/SharMarali 2d ago
If you don’t mind me asking, did it just sort of come to you out of nowhere or did something (sound, sight, smell, conversation, other memory) trigger it to come to light? I’m sorry you went through that and if it’s too painful to talk about further, please don’t.
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u/PuddleLilacAgain 2d ago
I had been going through therapy and working on family drama. But it was really random. It actually hit me while I was working at home at my job, completely randomly in the middle of a spreadsheet. I know people say "It hit me like a bolt of lightning," but it really did. My thoughts were just kind of drifting, and then suddenly all these pieces came together like a lightning bolt, and all these horrible sensations hit me in my body, and I got dissociated for a few minutes. It was really bizarre. It wasn't like watching a movie, more like reliving the emotions and shock, and this horror of what was happening. And my whole life made sense, like the aversion of being touched, etc.
My theory is that it came out after my brother's death because it was "safe" then. I don't know. We're working up to it in EMDR.
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u/ShamelessFox 2d ago
I had a similar experience with my own molestation. I was at my then boyfriend's place mind wandering thinking about my childhood and then I got a gut punch. It almost felt like suddenly my mind and body relieved it in fast forward then dumped me back to normal time present day. I don't know if my predator is alive or not, maybe I sensed it and that's why I remembered. I hope you continue to do well!
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u/PuddleLilacAgain 2d ago
Oh wow, that does sound similar to me. I hope you are doing OK after all that. I hate adults who prey on children. My brother was young, and I believe someone else preyed on him, because he wouldn't have known to do what he was doing. My parents believe it must have been a former neighbor of theirs who was later arrested for child pornography and p*dofilia. I hope your own predator gets their karma.
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u/Straight_Beat7981 2d ago
I’m glad you’re doing much better now, and I’m sorry for what happened to you. Repressed memories are scary
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u/PuddleLilacAgain 2d ago
Thank you. I always had heard of repressed memories but never thought it would happen to me.
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u/Straight_Beat7981 2d ago
Same here, and you really can’t wrap your head around it til it happens to you
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u/thedonkeyhitstheH2O 2d ago
Mine never got repressed. Older brother's Scout Master.
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u/PuddleLilacAgain 2d ago
Oh, sh*t, seriously? My brother was in Boy Scouts. We also wondered if it happened there. It seems more likely that my parents' old neighbor did it, since he was a family friend, and later he was arrested for child pornography and p*dofilia. He used to take pictures of us kids as babies. Can't ask my brother now since he's dead.
That is so horrible about the sh*t that's happened in Scouts. I am so sorry
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u/SillyRabbit1010 2d ago
My dad died right in front of me. I didn't remember it clearly for years. When I did tho it crashed into me. Explained a lot tho.
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u/ThrowRAjunos 2d ago
My father was obsessed with us being skinny (ironic as he was/is overweight). He would make me lift my shirt up to show him my belly so he could see “how fat I’ve gotten” and if I needed to diet/exercise more. Earliest memory is around 8 years old. This was the catalyst to a life time of eating disorders.
Also around age 10, I started growing body hair. One day he took me to my mother and lifted my arm up to show her my armpits and told her to teach me to shave because “no one wants to see that”. I shaved every 2-3 days until college after that and made me super insecure about body hair. Only realized how messed up it was when I was an adult, that he would say no one wants to see that on a literal child.
He’s been cut off for years and my relationship with food has healed. :)
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u/i5the5kyblue 2d ago
My dad was the same way. I’ll never forget the time when I was throwing a summer high school senior party with ~40 girls outside and I came into the kitchen with a few of my friends where he and my sister were. He pulled me aside and said “You’re getting cellulite on your thighs.” Then my sister chimed in “You really need to start toning up more or else it’ll be hard to fix it when you get older.” I was literally a size 2, on the cross country team during the fall, basketball in winter, and track in spring.
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u/Adventurous-Let-8052 2d ago
I have similar body hair story, since childhood i was livin at my uncle's place grew up there until age 18. Today im 23F but remember when i turned 11, my puberty started with menstruation, hair around armpits, increase in size of bust but still i was a young girl, who didnt had much idea about all of this. I had a cute white sleeveless top with black apples on it. I used to love wearing it, one day i was sleeping on couch, watching Tv cartoon and one of my hand was on my head, i didnt know that armpits hair were noticeable, i was just busy enjoying cartoon, my uncle came home n saw me watching Tv also noticed hair in armpits, he scolded me to sit straight and asked me to get changed in full clothes. First i refused, cause i really like that top and didnt wanted to get changed cause im grown up seeing men around house wear undershirt with chest hair, armpits hair were not at all a problem until I,11 year old, young girl's hairy armpits were unknowingly visible.He called my aunt n said words to her about me that still makes me feel bad and embarrassed about having hairy armpits which certainly no one in the house explained me anything about it, or how to clean them. I felt ashamed about something which is so natural. My aunt taught me shaving n cleaning armpits, the very same evening i cleaned them but making me feel embarassed about having them disturbs me.
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u/WhyAmINotClever 2d ago edited 2d ago
When I was 13, my mom was slowly dying of terminal brain cancer.
But there were 2 memories of that time that stuck with me the worst:
We were going to the store, and my mom asked me to come in with her. I was 13 and just didn't want to go into the store, so I said I wanted to stay in the car. She assumed it was because I was embarrassed about her wig and got upset and started crying. I told her I really didn't care about the wig, but she didn't believe me. I was just being a teenager, but I hurt her feelings so badly.
The second and worst was that, as her cancer progressed, she needed help with personal care. So every night, my dad and my sister would try to march her down the hall to the bathroom to clean her up and give her a bath. As she got worse, she fought it harder and harder until one night she's screaming, crying, fighting with my dad and sister right outside my bedroom door about not wanting to go, it hurting, wanting to be left alone. And I was alone in my room listening to them fighting about just trying to get her into the bathroom to get cleaned up. That memory haunts me, even now, over a decade later
Edit: To take the good with the bad, I'll share a story from this period that made us all laugh even if it shouldn't have:
Eventually my mother's mental decline led to her no longer being allowed to drive. This obviously frustrated her at times.
At the time, I had a pet cockatiel named Hector (Hector, named after Hector Barbosa from Time Splitters 2, went on to fly out an open door one day to his untimely death).
One day, in an attempt to drive herself to some unclear destination, she said (in totally high spirits, by the way) that her lack of access to car keys was no issue because she was just going to grab the bird and use its beak as a car key!
Edit 2: After we put our son to sleep, a dove showed up on my front porch. It has since flown up to the roof of our front porch to where we can see it from our second floor. Mom must have seen me posting this, because I've never seen a real dove in person in my life and it won't fly away.
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u/Tale-Twine 2d ago
What a horrible experience, I'm so sorry to hear that you went through this.
As upset as she might have been in the moment about that wig comment, I'm absolutely certain that she knew how much you loved her. It was probably more a moment of her just being overwhelmed than having been deeply hurt.
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u/More_Passenger3988 2d ago
She may have been unable to regulate her emotions due to chemo brain (or the tumor itself). She probably couldn't help herself. I'm sorry you had to go through this.
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u/coltonchapstick 2d ago
This resonates with me, though under different circumstances. My Mom took her life 6 years ago. I worried about her for 6 months leading up to that night. She wanted to meet me for dinner, but things were a bit tense at the time, so I decided not too. Woke up the next morning to the news of what she had done. It's one thing I can't seem to forgive myself for.
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u/OutAndDown27 2d ago
It's likely that even if you had gone, this was her plan no matter what. If you had gone, you'd still be sitting here wondering what you could have said differently during the dinner. If she had never called for dinner at all, you would be beating yourself up for something else. The truth is that you can't read minds and you can't control another person. If you can't consider forgiving yourself, consider talking to a professional about how to better live with the guilt you feel. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/ronniemustang 2d ago
My grandmother died when my mom was 15. But it was instant. A brain aneurysm. I feel like, tho shocking, it's less painful than the slow loss of a loved one you experienced. I'm so sorry for that.
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u/chilldrinofthenight 2d ago
My one friend's Mom (age 55 at the time) was at a High School graduation barbecue. Lots of neighbors, relatives, kids, etc. All of a sudden, "Mom" said she had the worst headache. She sat down in a chair, put her head back ----- and she was gone. Brain aneurysm.
Similar thing happened to a good friend of mine, age 40. She was at a big family gathering and said she felt like she needed to go lie down. Her husband found her about an hour later. No warning, no indication whatsoever that she would be here one minute and gone the next. Christina RIP.
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u/shavasana32 2d ago
Watching your parent die of cancer is such an awful, horrific, heart breaking thing to witness and experience. I’m sorry you had to go through that. My dad had pancreatic cancer, and I know just how terrible it is to see someone wither away like that. It just guts you. I know it can be easy to get caught up in these thoughts and feel bad for every moment you didn’t make the perfect choice or possibly hurt the person who is no longer here. We are all human, and you can’t beat yourself up so much. Don’t forget all of the times you exhibited kindness and compassion, and all of the good moments you shared with them.
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u/grummlinds2 2d ago
Watching my dad’s friend die in our cottage when I was 10. He came over to take my brother snowmobiling and had a heart attack or stroke right in our kitchen. It was bizarre though.. he hit the ground, my dad helped him into a chair and then his head dropped down, but his hands lifted up like he was driving a sled and he was making motor noises with his mouth. He did that for about a minute before his body slumped to the floor again.
We didn’t have a phone so my brother and I ran to the neighbours in our bare feet in the snow, and by the time we got back my dad was puking/sweating from doing CPR for so long. I was the only other person who knew CPR in the house so I got down and helped my dad with breathing while he did compressions.
The worse part was Larry’s son showed up hoping to catch up to his dad and tag along for the ride. So he showed up in this whole chaotic mess and immediately left to get his mom. By the time they both got back, the ambulance was taking his body away. Larry never recovered and they were unable to tell his family exactly what happened to him.
Both Larry’s sons ended up addicted to drugs and severely traumatized over the situation.
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u/aigret 2d ago
It sounds like he went into decorticate posturing, which happens with interrupted brain activity. Similar to the reason he may have been making odd noises or having abnormal breathing sounds. It may not be of comfort, but it is clear you, your dad, and your brother did everything you could trying to fight what appears to have been an unpreventable outcome which was - obviously - not your fault whatsoever. I’m so sorry.
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u/Blackcat1206 2d ago edited 2d ago
Traumatic but changed my life for the better more than I could ever express in words; my Mum and I were homeless when I was ten, we left where we were with only one bag and ended up in a homeless families shelter, when the case asked my Mum if she thought the shelter was a good place for a severely disabled child (me), Mum told her that the shelter was safer than where we had been living.
The first night at the shelter was the beginning of my childhood.
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u/rebelwanker69 2d ago
My stepmother would use solitary confinement as a discipline the minimum was one week (longest was almost a month) locked in my room with everything removed except for clothing that she approved of and a pillow on my bed no blankets. I wasn't allowed to leave the room to use the bathroom or get a drink of water without first asking permission, I was allowed three bathroom visits a day and I was only allowed to eat during meal times breakfast, lunch, dinner if it was during the summer and I was home by myself I wasn't technically allowed to eat lunch (and yes she would lock things up) this is a typical punishment if I talk back to her or didn't clean something to her standards. This was between the ages of 9 to 15 I still have a fucked up sense of time because of her.
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u/Blackheart26_6 2d ago
That sounds horrible.. what did your dad do? Is he sleeping or what? Please tell me you have moved out and went NC with those shitty parents 🥲🥲
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u/rebelwanker69 2d ago
Fuck yeah I with NC. I don't know honestly he dropped the ball on a lot of shit after my mother's death, I understand that he had a lot of shit that he was dealing with being a single parent. But when my stepmother came into the picture and dug her talons in it was game over I didn't realize it because I was too young to understand shit.
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u/Weird-Programmer8323 2d ago
My dad did similar stuff! But he called it being grounded so when other kids talked about being grounded sucking so bad I just assumed that's what it was.
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u/rebelwanker69 2d ago
Yeah that's what she called it too, she would say I was grounded to my room for a week or more.
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u/BabyBearStrikesBack 2d ago
I have a high ACE score but the biggest would be when I was 4, my 2 year old sister drowned and lived (barely, she was severely brain damaged) then died 11 years later.
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u/LuchiniOfAstora 2d ago
Grooming and sexual abuse that lasted for around 2 years that culminated in me being raped.
Messed me up for a long time, fell into a long period of drug abuse, self hatred and shame. Ended up leaving my job in 2022 and taking a year out to get myself right, saw a therapist and joined a men’s talking group.
I’m getting there.
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u/fatesdestinie 2d ago
My childhood has a lot of holes in it, but, this is one I remember clearly. I'm guessing it was around 1991 or 1992. I was 7 or 8, my parents were going through a divorce. It wasn't pretty. My dad had a lot of mental health issues and drug issues. Basically, it was his weekend with me and he decided not to return me to my mom. He put me in the car and drove me to my mom's house, the whole time saying he was going to kill her and he would kill me too if I tried to run away. He parked outside and locked me in the car, he goes inside and a few minutes later he's in a fistfight in the yard with a guy (my mom was on a date with my future step dad). Dad gets the shit kicked out of him, mom is trying to get me to unlock the car. I'm freaking out and crying, scared to open the door cause he said he would kill me if I did. He gets back in the car and we take off. He kidnapped me, stopping at really sketchy motels to call and harass her. Finally, we return to his apartment and he leaves me there to go back to her house to kill her. I call my mom and warn her, police had already been involved all night trying to find me. They arrested him before he could get to her. They still made me have visitation with him, he only had to do a couple months of NA or AA. No jail time, no fines, no nothing. Messed with me and my mom. I know I never really healed from it, my mom passed away 2 years ago and I know she was also traumatized too.
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u/CanofBeans9 2d ago
They still made me have visitation with him, he only had to do a couple months of NA or AA. No jail time, no fines, no nothing.
Idk what year or country this was, but that is so messed up and I'm sorry the systen failed you so badly. They put your life in danger
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u/ReleaseObjective 2d ago
Very very mild compared to a lot of these stories but when I was a really young kid I would hang out with this one weird kid in my neighborhood. One day we were hanging out in his backyard and there was a really cute caterpillar minding its business, making its way across the pavement.
And this kid’s response to me pointing it out was to immediately stomp the life out of it. For no reason except for that he could.
Guts went everywhere. It was fucking awful.
I think that was one of the first times I experienced and viscerally reacted to senseless cruelty. I was so shocked that I made up some bull story to leave and the rest of the day went on as normally as it could have.
I know it was just a bug. I think even then, I knew it was just a bug. But some things just stick with you your whole life and that was one of them.
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u/dragonavicious 2d ago
I have a similar story. I was 11 or 12 and this boy I had a crush on at school was visiting the farm next to my grandparents. He had a go-chart so me and my sister went on an adventure with him and his friend. Everything was awesome and we were having a great time but then I found this little frog. I loved frogs and this one was brand new and so tiny. I carried it with me for about an hour because I wanted to show my mom when we got back. It got out of my pocket and instead of letting me pick it up the boy I liked stomped on it and killed it. This was after knowing I loved it and was carrying it for a purpose.
I remember looking at its crushed body, remembering its adorable hops in my hand and realizing it was my fault for taking it from his home and letting it near the deranged boy. He just laughed. My crush for him was instantly gone and I demanded they take us home immediately.
I knew then that I could never be with someone that was cruel to animals. Luckily I met a guy who loves them as much as me and decided that I wanted to marry him when he stopped on his way to work to move a turtle out of the center of the road.
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u/mmpjd 2d ago
Guy here and I experienced pretty much the same thing except it was a couple of classmates in grade school. We found a toad in the yard during recess and my classmates instantly started dropping large rocks on it. That was probably 40 years ago and that memory still creeps up every now and then. I never could understand why someone would want to kill any living thing.
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u/hellerinahandbasket 2d ago
Anyone picking on small things is awful to witness. Its only crime was that it was tiny and seen :(
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u/HaloTightens 2d ago
Sometimes the smallest things can have enormous meaning. He showed you that day exactly who he is.
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u/josims88 2d ago
My parents, aunt, and uncle staged my grandfather's death/murder in front of me and my cousin to prank us
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u/Blackenstien 2d ago
This one is kind of a combo. I'm named after my maternal grandfather who committed suicide when my mom was 6. He left behind 4 children and a wife.
The reasons he committed suicide are a little murky but it's believed that he was in an interracial gay relationship in the 60s.
The aftermath of his death resulted in a lot of Midwestern stoicism, generational trauma etc. for both his age group and the one below him (his children)
Anyway, when I was born my Mom thought it was a good idea to name me after him and the kicker is that I'm biracial.
This always led to me having a contentionous relationship with my grandma and me not knowing why.
When I was 11 years old I moved away from where my maternal grandmother and the rest of our family lived. I returned later that year, closer to age 12. Again, I'm biracial and entering my teens at this point so I wanted to try a new hairstyle.
I grew an Afro.
This did not fly with her and she called my Mom to let her know that no grandchild of hers was going to be in her house with N****r hair. I refused to cut my hair and didn't understand why it was an issue.
She proceeded to complain to her husband at the time where he called me all kinds of names, slurs etc to intimidate me and make me feel like garbage because my hair was ethnic. Eventually this led to her watching in the background while he pushed me up against a wall and said he wanted to fight me.
I still refused to cut my hair at this point so they called my Mom to let her know that I would be outside in the yard with my things waiting to get picked up by her N****r friends.
I was outside for 5 hours waiting on my godmother to come pick me up from my grandma's house.
What's sad is that she's still alive and I've tried to talk to her and other family members about it and they claim she's too old to have the conversation and it would upset her too much to process any of it.
I'm in my mid thirties now and I have dreadlocks that go almost to my ass.
I feel like I've been wronged but I also feel like I'm more resilient and very proud of my natural hair.
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u/redhair-ing 2d ago
"Would upset her too much"?! Poor woman too old to accept the consequences of her actions. The gall. I'm so sorry you endured all of this at the hands of those who should've protected you, but glad you made it through and are wearing those dreads with pride!
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u/Templeton_empleton 2d ago
I'm sorry that that happened to you, honestly though fuck her you have every right to confront her with this. And your relatives can fuck right off if they disagree
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u/lightnoheat 2d ago
I witnessed a neighbor's murder, and told my parents. I found out later that he was involved in a robbery and kept an unfair share of the money. When the police canvassed the neighborhood, my parents said they hadn't seen anything and made sure I didn't say anything even though I wanted to. Afterwards, it was like nothing had happened, because no one talked about it. The neighbor's family moved away, and the house usually remained empty.
I didn't remember most of this until I went home for a visit and that house had been torn down.
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u/Flailing_Aimlessly 2d ago
I am 11. Neighborhood kid talks shit about be and then shoves me during a football. I belt him in the face.
The next day, there's a crowd at the field, he's going to fight me. Kids are there to watch, like 20 kids and I know he's got some kinda' plot here. He's going to pull out a knife, or a friend is going to jump in me. I tell him he needs to back off.
I can see this high schooler bummed out because he wanted to watch and I can hear him say "How do I get this kid to fight?". My cousin is there, 3 years older and lives 2 doors down from me. We're like brothers. He turns to this older high schooler and dumps ever childhood secret I've ever told. The high schooler starts helping the neighborhood kid, saying embarrassing shit I've done.
I'm in my 40's and that shit kept me from every opening up to anyone else ever. Married 15 years and my wife still says "you're not an easy person to know".
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u/VanellopeZero 2d ago
Oh man that took a turn. You brought up your cousin and I thought he was going to help you, not be a dick. I had a bullying situation in 7th grade and one of my “bff”s gave up some personal info to my bully - it’s a devastating situation.
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u/Some-Gas-3097 2d ago
Most of my childhood memories are repressed and I can’t remember them due to extreme PTSD (working on it now… in my late 20s and doing EMDR therapy) but one thing I do remember is when I would self harm as an adolescent my mom would laugh in my face and tell me to “cut deeper next time”
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u/Twiseheart777 2d ago
I have a toxic mother - the shit they do sticks with you even if you don’t remember all of the specifics- I don’t remember much of my childhood I do remember my mother punching me in the face and giving me a bloody nose and using a blanket that I bought to stop the blood.
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u/LuchiniOfAstora 2d ago
EMDR was so exhausting and mentally taxing, but definitely changed my life for the better.
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u/BarryBro 2d ago
When I was on a drive w my mum, I explained to her at 11 my general concerns about myself, the world and my future. She laughed and brushed me off, then called her sister and had a good laugh at my expense. I've got a lot of walls now
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u/assaultchicken 2d ago
Same happened to me. At 13 I started with severe depression I’ve battled ever since. At 14 I decided to tell my mom about my problems and my thoughts, I still remember the look on her face. She was patronizing, visibly uncomfortable and so dismissive we never talked about my problems ever again. To this day my relationship with her has walls so high I couldn’t tear down even if I tried.
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u/SeparateMidnight3691 2d ago
So I lived in a mostly all white redneck town growing up. There was a girl I liked when I was 12 and she was mexican...
I brought her to meet my grandpa, he was nice but when she was away he asked me if she smelled funny when she sweats... I didn't know what he meant. I could tell it made my mother angry.. My mother finally told me what he meant and that he was being mean..
It was my first taste of racism, and it very early made me understand ignorance, disappointment and how not to be as a person. I think about it every time I think about racism or hear something racist. I didn't understand the thinking then anymore than now..
I hope this does not offend anybody. Just my experience growing up. I am 48 now but different times do not justify stupidity. I am better for it in a way but also it still embarrasses me to think about.
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u/lostwanderer02 2d ago
I was beaten and raped by a couple that offered me a ride home from school. I first opened up about it on the rape counseling sub reddit years ago and it was cathartic to finally write it out. What made it worse was at the time I was being abused at home so I had nobody I could confide in or turn to for help.
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u/Kindly-Caterpillar74 2d ago
My mother cheating on my father and generally the ugly relationship they had
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u/Magikats 2d ago edited 2d ago
Around 4yo I accidentally ruined our TV. My dad was always an angry man, and I found it stupid and annoying. Until I ruined the TV. he was screaming, cursing, and using his belt to whip a table with all of his strength, screaming at me to "get the fuck over here". I was hiding under the kitchen table, and my mom dragged me out while I grasped at chair legs. I never trusted either of them again. -Its been almost 30 years, and people's anger has sent me into a panic ever since.-
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u/PickleTheGherkin 2d ago
People's anger sends me into insanely high anxiety too. Also from my angry dad.
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u/ShamelessFox 2d ago
Third. My father had a bad temper, and even if it wasn't directed at me (road rage for example) it always made me anxious, nervous, scared. Screaming, cursing, from a partner make me panic. It's a fear it'll be turned on you.
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u/Maleficent-Bad3755 2d ago edited 2d ago
i had my second kidney/bladder surgery when i was in 4th grade and the tube that went into my bladder via my stomach (not a typical catheter) - it was a half inch or so wide tube ..was removed without anesthesia by holding me down and pulling it out surrounded by dr and nurses - NYU new york city in the 1984.
i was alone with no parents etc..
a few weeks after i went home they accidentally left a stich in my surgical scar and my mother at a party at my house allowed my aunts to put me half naked on the kitchen table so my nurse aunt could remove it .. in front of everyone
i screamed and begged for them to stop and no one did
i think about these sometimes and get anxiety .. it haunts me to this day
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u/Rude-Comfort-4418 2d ago
A very popular football player at my Highschool had just committed suicide and it was the talk of my small town.
My dad was making comments to my mom at dinner about how pathetic the guy was for ending his life and laughing.
I never said anything because it shocked me.
He’s dead now but years later I also attempted. The lack of empathy really hurt.
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u/PrettyPooley 2d ago
When I was six, my mom pretended to put a fork in the electrical socket and "died." I ran to my bedroom, crying hysterically for about an hour. Suddenly, my mom came in yelling, "APRIL FOOL'S!" I had no idea what April Fool's Day was back then. What a terrible thing to do.
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u/VortexDestroyer99 2d ago
Jeez that’s fucking cruel. How could your mom think that that was an acceptable joke for a 6 yr old let alone anyone?
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u/ElectricTomatoMan 2d ago
When I was five, my dad went to the hospital one night and I never saw him again. Massive heart attack. Three years later, mom died of emphysema. Sent to live with relatives. Abusive situation. That sucked pretty bad.
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u/AlchoTheStranger 2d ago edited 1d ago
When I was little, maybe around 6, my parents were getting divorced, so my mom dropped my brother and i off at a cousins house so they could finalize the divorce paperwork and see who gets custody. I remember not really feeling much because I was so sheltered, I thought parents got divorced all of the time, and it was a normal part of life.
I hated being at extended families' homes, especially when it's 90 degrees out, and they didn't have air conditioning while having to stay overnight. I was bored, and I wanted to go outside and find some kids to play with. There were no other kids in the neighborhood, but my cousins told me the woman next door was really nice, and she had kids who were older.
So, as a nieve kid, I went over and just blatantly knocked on the door. An older woman, shorter brown hair, very shy and quiet, opened the door a little bit and peaked out. We talked a little, and she invited me in.
I promise, this doesn't get scary. Instead, it gets sad.
Her house was dark but well maintained. She was very nice and we both just talked. She made Kool-Aid and chatted. She loved skiing and her two boys who were twins. She said they had gone off to college, and she had been home alone now for a few months. I told her my parents were getting divorced and that I was sad about it, but she reassured me my parents loved me very much. It was starting to get dark, and I needed to get back to my cousins. I told her i would come by tomorrow and say goodbye before I had to go back home, and she said she'd like that.
I went to bed later that night and was woken up by what sounded like the loudest thunder crash I had ever heard in my life. I had woken up my brother to see if he heard it, and he said no. No one else in the house heard it except me. I looked outside to expect rain and storms, but it was bone dry and hot. So i tried to go back to sleep.
I woke up the next morning to hear sirens driving off away from where I was. I went outside to see her front door, had caution tape in front of it, and was locked up tight. I didn't understand then, but I felt a swampy pit in my stomach that made me feel sick.
My cousin sat me down to tell me softly that their neighbor had passed away and she's in a better place. I went home later that day and didn't even tell my mom about anything that happened that night. It didn't occur to me until I was in my 20's and had dealt with so much suicide in my life and even planning on doing it myself that either she had killed herself or she was a victim of a horrible crime, and I was the last person she talked to. But seeing as how we never got contacted by police or detectives, I think it was suicide.
I have tried to talk to my family about it in the past, but neither my mother nor my brother remembered that time, probably due to how much booze they both drank in those passing years. So it's made me question whether it happened at all. But I remember her dog, her sons rooms, the flavor of Kool-Aid, how we sat on her sons bed, and talked about her kids, almost all of it. I still think about it a lot.
TL:DR I was quite possibly the last person a stranger talked to before they committed suicide when I was a six year old boy.
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u/SiriusB2424 2d ago edited 2d ago
Not as bad as the others, but my brother was locked in a bathroom of a restaurant when we were little (I was maybe around 8), due to the lock being broken. It took a long time to get him out and I remember my brother kicking the door repeatedly. I still have trouble locking doors, which is especially annoying going to the toilet.
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u/neillaalien 2d ago
just sharing a similar story i had to that. when i was a kid, i was in this really broken down park and i had went in the nearby bathroom and closed the door in a stall. when i finished, i tried opening it and it wouldn’t open and freaked out, so i just started trying to break it down until it opened. this happened 2 times, i never learn lmao
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u/Cheap_Application295 2d ago
Being bullied and manipulated in elementary threw high school. Because of it I have trust issues and a very cynical view of people.
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u/CampClear 2d ago
Same! I'm a lot better now but the constant bullying I experienced never leaves my mind completely.
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u/Downtown-Impress-538 2d ago
Same. I was terribly taunted and bullied by a bunch of boys bc of my religion. They were all the athletes. Teachers, administrators all looked away. My parents didn’t believe me or protect me. This was in NJ. Made a mark on me that I’m still dealing with in my 40’s.
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u/ksandbergfl 2d ago
The most traumatic thing I can remember from my childhood is that I had pneumonia very bad when I was around 4 years old… so it was 1969-1970..I spent weeks at a time in the hospital. At one point I was even given Last Rites because the doctor said I wouldn’t make it thru the night.
Anyway.. after another long stretch in the hospital, I finally got to come home. I was so happy to be home. Then I started coughing…. My parents got concerned…. Little 3-4 yr old me tried so hard to stop coughing.. I didn’t want them to hear it… finally, in the middle of the night, my dad came in and picked me up, he had to bring me back to the hospital… I was begging and pleading with him… please daddy, no, I will stop coughing, , I can do it, please don’t take me back… But back to the hospital I went
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u/FizzlePop13 2d ago
I was reading a book, no shit, about 3 months ago and the main character was talking about how she was molested as a child by her dad and then boom. I remembered camping with my uncle and him making me and my cousin drink warm milk to chase the nightmares away…well I woke up to him fingering me and telling it was just a nightmare and to go back asleep.
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u/ShamelessFox 2d ago
Do you think he drugged the milk to try to ensure you wouldn't wake up, or if you did it could be explained away?
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u/FizzlePop13 2d ago
Yes…so when I called my mom and told her what I remembered, I guess after the camping trip, my uncle came down and told my parents that I was caught humping a teddy bear while camping and my parents asked me about it and I told them “why would I be on top of a teddy bear?” Which I do remember this conversation. I just never remembered my uncle molesting me until I read that book. But I talked to my grandma about this and she told me that there had been a time when his wife came to her suggesting that my uncle was drugging her because she would feel really weird at random but it was never proven or brought up again.
I messaged my cousin too once I remembered and she doesn’t even remember me going on a camping trip with her…so idk I’m 28, this happened when I was about 8ish and she was 7ish
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u/ShamelessFox 2d ago edited 2d ago
Jesus Christ. He didn't just molest you he was trying to frame it as you being sexually explorative to help explain it away if you said anything or went to the doctor. He was obviously drugging his wife too, and I can only suspect why your cousin can't remember things either. What a predatory POS. I hope you have NC with him.
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u/FizzlePop13 2d ago
I wasn’t allowed to play with my cousin anymore after he told my parents I was humping a teddy bear so I never spoke with him again. They wanted me supervised and my cousin could come down and play but I was no longer allowed down there alone, so he was offended and wouldn’t even let her come over and play. It was heartbreaking because me & her were inseparable and I didn’t get why she couldn’t come play. I didn’t speak to him since then up until I remembered everything. I texted him. I wish I could post the screenshots. I texted him and explained in detail everything and you know what he did? He messaged my mom and said “I will talk to you and Des when you’re ready”….why tf didn’t he text me back? Idk. And then my grandma asked him if it’s true and he said “I don’t know if I did or not, I smoked too much weed then” like excuse me?????? Lmao
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u/ShamelessFox 2d ago
WEED?!?! Weed makes you make regrettable snack choices, not forget whether or not you molested your niece and (likely) daughter! I will talk to you when you're ready..mthfkr how about right now when I'm confronting you? Oh I guess that's inconvenient for you.
Good on your parents for recognizing something was suspect and keeping him away.
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u/FizzlePop13 2d ago
Looking back, my cousin was definitely groomed. She was always wearing crop tops, would get yelled at if she didn’t have her hair done nice and make up on as in mascara and lip gloss…like that’s not normal. Having children myself, I could never tell my 4 or 7 year old to do that stuff. I also remember we were obsessed with playing the Zach & Cody pizza game on the Disney website and we would ask to use his computer and what do you know, porn was always on that computer.
It’s funny how you don’t add up everything until you’re older.
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u/schwenomorph 2d ago
Having to threaten to break my father's nose so he'd stop touching and kissing me and making creepy jokes.
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u/ReneeStone27 2d ago
Our neighbors infant daughter died of SIDS. I was told she passed away, not how. I was about four. In my four year old brain I felt it meant there was no god if that could happen
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u/RisingInkwell 2d ago
Around 2017 I was heading back to college to try to at least get my associates. At the time my mom developed what we thought was a bad cold… but it wasn’t. Only realized something major was probably going on when my mom texted me to come out into the living room despite my room only being a few feet away, asking me to get her cough medicine from the store near our house at the time. I couldn’t drive and it was storming so she drove me there, and waited in the car while I went in to get her Deylsum. I came back out to find her slumped over on the drivers side of the car with her saying the cold window felt good… turns out she had a high fever. That scared me.
After a few days she went to the hospital since she wasn’t getting better. She was told her cold turned into pneumonia which then turned into legionaires. Her lungs were filling up with fluid n if she didn’t go that night she would’ve technically drowned in her sleep. I was afraid she was gonna die in the hospital so I was scrambling looking for potential full time jobs and dropping outta college, again.
We thought the legeionairs was caused by possible mold build up in my step dads humidifier so we got rid of it.
Years later (this year, a few months ago) we realized our upstairs neighbors weren’t telling the landlord when problems were going on the the upstairs part of the house (long story). Turns out there was mold all over that part of the house, and the ceiling was collapsing, etc… so my mom nearly dying could’ve been caused by their unsanitary living situation which the never told the landlord about until years after the fact. Who knows.
It angers me.
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u/FrostyBroman 2d ago
When I was around 10, my father collapsed in the garden because it was summer, very hot and he didn't eat all day. My mother, who is a very fragile person, went into complete meltdown, screaming like the world was ending. She was kneeling beside him, praying loudly to God to "not let him go yet" and stuff like that. A neighbor who was walking his dog called an ambulance, ambulance came and after some glucose everything was fine and my father was back up as if nothing happened. All of that can't have been longer than 15 minutes, but it felt like eternity! My mother was unstable for days, randomly breaking down crying and didn't sleep at night. After that day I swore to myself to never go into meltdown like that and I never wanted to feel helpless like that again. So after school I became a nurse (my grades were to bad to study medicine) and basically inhaled everything about first aid, first response training and what not and asked to do every extra training courses I could get, just to never feel helpless like that ever again during a medical emergency.
I still get uneasy just thinking about that day and standing there, alone, frightened and without any idea what was going on. Just a little boy that was sure his father is dying and his mother acting like he has never seen her before. What happend that day wasn't talked about and I was basically left alone with how it impacted me. The thought "I hope dad doesn't die today" stayed with me for years and I got scared everytime he was late after work or things like that.
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u/Spotted_Howl 2d ago
A lot of us don't have access to memories of the worst things that happened to us.
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u/Competitive-Post-321 2d ago
Probably seeing my mother who just committed suicides blood all over my panicking fathers hands at the ripe age of 5. Still feel extremely nauseous around blood to this day.
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u/Competitive-Post-321 2d ago
The ironic part is she killed herself because of him. Her blood was literally on his hands. I think about the irony of that alot.
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u/potdoobie 2d ago
I was hearing my mother and stepfather fighting, so I went to stop it. When I walked into the room, I saw my mother lying on the floor and my stepfather over her.
I was much smaller than him but went after him. He grabbed me and threw me into the bathtub. My mother called the police and screamed at him to get out. He did leave.
While this is messed up, it really taught me about the man I wanted to be, and that wasn't going to be the man I was going to be.
Been married for 11 years and have never (and will never) raised a finger to my wife. Anytime we've disagreed, we will always talk it out.
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u/Hot_Himbo_Bitch 2d ago
In middle school I did something “bad” and the punishment was that I was grounded. There were several days where I couldn’t leave my room for anything, barely the bathroom. They neglected me, emotionally and physically, isolated me from everyone in my family and somedays I didn’t get fed. If I left my room I was physically thrown back in it. This lasted a few months. It made me so depressed that I tried to kill myself but sleeping was my only escape and this is when I learned how to lucid dream. So I went on “journeys” in my sleep.
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u/Wild-Weakness-9348 2d ago
Drug addicted mother and her boyfriend who regularly made sexual comments about me (an 8 year old) were sitting on the couch making out, I walk in as I'm getting ready for school and protest that they're half naked and making out while my youngest brother is on the floor crying. My mother storms out, the boyfriend then puts his hand into his underwear and starts touching himself in front of me, staring right at me. I yell at him and run out of the room. I go to my mother and tell her that the bf scares me and what he just did. My mother loses her shit.
Slaps me across the face. I start screaming at her that I hate her and I'm going to tell me teacher about everything that goes on at home. She gets a look on her face that tells me she's seeing red so I turn to run away. She grabs me by my hair and yanks me back, drags me along the hallway by my hair, and starts slamming my head into the step before the front door. So hard and so much that I black out several times, there's blood splattering from my nose and coming from my mouth. She kicks me in the ribs and back several times too. She yells "tell your teacher about this, you ungrateful bitch".
I could hardly breathe, she was gripping my neck so hard. It crossed my mind that she was going to kill me if she kept going. I stopped fighting pretty quickly but she didn't let up until I was completely unconscious.
I woke up in my bed with the worst pain in my face and neck. Bruised all over. Lip bust open and swollen so much I could hardly speak or eat. Eyebrow was also bust open, definitely needed stitches but that would require a doctor which was out of the question. I almost definitely had broken bones too. And my throat felt bruised on the inside, I could barely swallow anything.
From the second I woke up, my mother acted like nothing happened. She was suddenly doting and loving and concerned about me. Kept saying stuff like "who would do something like this" about my face. But when I tried to say that it was her she'd say I hit my head hard and that I must be remembering it wrong. I was out of school for two weeks and when I did go back, I still had bruises and an open eyebrow. School were told that I fell off of a wall. I was too scared to say anything. I was confused for a long time about whether I really did remember things wrong or if my mother did actually almost kill me.
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u/GrouchyMary9132 2d ago
I am so sorry. I hope you have no physical health issues because of it. What horrible father.
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u/funktopus 2d ago
I knew kids in the 80's that summer was like that. Eat a bowl of cereal, get kicked outside, come home when the streetlights came on, eat dinner, take their dimeatap, get a shower and go to bed.
The one kid ask if we took medicine at night and were like not unless were sick what are you doing?! Then he realized his parents literally drugged him.
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u/BigDeuces 2d ago
i swear i saw this exact comment days ago. why is it showing up now as having been posted 40 minutes ago?
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u/Nicolozolo 2d ago
Literally googled it and it's featured in a 2021 article word for word.
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u/wiggly_rabbit 2d ago
I saw this exact comment a few months ago, it's not just you
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u/Nuicakes 2d ago
My friend has a pretty messed up family. Her little brother is disabled, her father is a pedophile and her mom used to give the kids syrupy ice cream sundaes on weekends or "special days".
Turns out the mom was feeding them "Benadryl sundaes" so the kids would sleep.
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u/DiscoLibra 2d ago
Man tried to kidnap me while I was out bike riding. He hit me with his car, and then tried to get me into his car. I haven't ridden a bike since.
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u/obviousthrowawyy 2d ago
I didn’t do something my mom wanted or pissed her off somehow / maybe complained about her to a teacher, and she made me pack a single bag, drove to the local department of social services building, parked in the parking lot and convinced me for a good 30-45 minutes I was going to go into the foster care system.
I also saw her in a diabetic coma when I was a kid and helped my dad dispatch paramedics.
Needless to say, complicated relationship with my mother.
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u/lew_traveler 2d ago
Being attacked by a Doberman when I was ~10.
I was walking down to the barn at a friend's farm and his Dobie watch dog sprang out of deep grass at me.
Luckily he hit the end of his chain just when his paws hit my chest.
I was phobic of dogs for 30+ years until my wife convinced me to get a puppy for the children. Raising that Cocker Spaniel pretty much cured me of my fears, although I still get a bit nervous around any unleashed large dog.
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u/EntryApprehensive290 2d ago
Woke up at 6 to find no one home with all the doors unlocked in a rough neighborhood. (My neighbors dealt crack) my mom had left me to go hook up with some guy or a party, I don’t remember specifically. I was so scared I locked all the doors and waited for her to come home. When she got home she pounded on the door. Once I opened it she stormed in and screamed at me for locking her out of the house and told me to get back into bed.
I have a hard time feeling safe at night and quite often will overthink and get paranoid that someone is trying to break in to hurt me.
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u/Substantial-State789 2d ago
When I was 4, I took one of my first baths without help. My sister had taught me a trick where you could “surf” by standing on the ledges around the sides of the fiberglass shower/tub. Well, I slipped forward. The diverter in the bath faucet went straight into my eye and shoved it back into my head. Loads of blood. Loads. I don’t have a ton of memory from this, but I was told the doctor used a paper clip to pry my eye back forward. Miraculously, I basically have a lazy eye from this but no other apparent damage. I still get headaches and have trouble looking at pointed objects. PTSD I’d imagine.
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u/PMMeYourTurkeys 2d ago
Not mine, but my mother-in-law. Her childhood home was at the top of a steep hill. When she was about 14, she was getting something out of the car when she accidentally bumped the gear shift. (This was back in the 1950s, when some cars could be shifted out of park without a key in the ignition). After MIL bumped the shift, the car rolled down the hill and hit and killed her mother who was at the bottom. Not only was it a horrible, tragic accident, but the local police treated her like she'd done it on purpose and her father never forgave her.
She's in her 80s now and has never had proper help to work through that trauma.
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u/SubstantialTodger 2d ago
Night terrors. I would have violent night terrors as a child and could 90% of the time not remember the morning after. My mom would tell me i was screaming and crying with my eyes closed shouting "I want my mom, mom help me!". Litterally while she was hugging me trying to calm me down.
I can remember parts of some. It was like there was pressure in my head and squeeling like a boiling kettle in my ears. Like my head was about to explode. That whooshing sound when you bite your teeth together and squeeze your eyes shut as hard as you can. I also remember there were recurring trigger nigtmares, or maybe just one im not sure... but the whoosing sound was there and there was a little cartoon boy with a popsicle on his bike. When all of a sudden there would be a huge yellow machine covered in oil and making a really loud horrible noise. When i woke up i remember my hands feeling tiny and my head feeling huge. Like my senses were all out of whack. It was truely terrifying.
This happened often for a couple of years when i was around 10-11 years old. Still to this day for some reason when i pick up something that is small but really heavy, like a bolt...I get this weird sensation where i go all lightheaded and my hands feel tiny. Big anxiety rush too. So weird.
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u/sweet_baby_cheez-its 2d ago
When I was 12, my dad came home drunk from the bar and tried to get our dogs (who were sleeping in my room) to go outside. One was a dog we hadn't had long, and she nipped at him. He then proceeded to drag her into our living room and shot her.
My sister was sleeping in her room and he apparently came in and told her to cover her ears and she told me later that for the first couple of minutes, she thought he had shot me.
I had to get up and comfort my dad and call my mom to come help us clean the mess. However, that night is the night we were finally able to move in with our mom.
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u/jivenjune 2d ago edited 2d ago
I caught my dad physically beating my mom and I held his wrist back to restrain him from continuing to punch her.
It's strange.
He changed after that. He never hit my mom ever again. They're still married to this day and quite happy these days
But that changed me forever.
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u/randalljhen 2d ago
Oh, boy howdy, let's take a jaunt down Trauma Boulevard!
Dear ol' dad came up to my room, where I was doing homework, which was to underline the misspelled words in a bunch of sentences. Accused me of lying to him, grabbed my wrist and swung me around the room. I banged my ankle on a chair. Hurt like hell, but hey, nothing broke. I was... 7?
When I was 8, after my folks had separated/divorced, I was with my dad, sitting in his station wagon at some lake, playing pogs. He told me he was moving away. I named some random city a few hours away, and he said no, he was moving out of state. Several states away. And I was only going to see him for one month out of the year (if he could afford it, which lasted like four years). Last time I saw him was during a trip to visit a girlfriend who moved. Saw him for about 30 minutes. That was, oh, 20 years ago. Since then, he turned into some Alex Jones conspiracy theory nutjob.
Sincerely and entirely, fuck you, Dad.
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u/din0_soar 2d ago
My grandma locked me in the cupboard under the stairs 😖 (I think I was 4 or 5)
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u/Illustrious2284 2d ago
Being molested at 6 years old. I remember being in grade k and my older cousin taking me to the wilderness pulling my pants down and raping me. From that day on my whole personality and psyche was pleasure induced and pleasure driven. My whole thoughts in school became sexual, of every minute of the day I could not focus on anything but sex. Just totally corrupted my heart and brain and emotions.
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u/typically_right 2d ago
I have repressed memories so not sure what the catalyst was to create that but I very much remember my thoughts being consumed with sex or anything remotely similar….
hmm something to bring up to my therapist
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u/zxcoleman 2d ago edited 2d ago
Attacked by a dog, I was about age 10, still have scars on my neck, mostly faded but still there. Been scared of large dogs my whole life since then.
Edit to clarify who was age 10, me not the dog.
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u/Meiiiiiiikusakabeee 2d ago
SA’d by other family members and my dentist. No one knows.
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u/Moonrock-toast 2d ago
Just alll the woman my dad had, the most horrid was the one that walked in on her son with me when I was 6 and she said if I tell my dad he wouldn't love me anymore.
If you are a father don't bring just any woman into your daughters life.
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u/SpecialistGeneral794 2d ago
My mum saw a guy get his throat cut in a shop, she was very little at the time so only really remembers everyone running, they moved rural after that
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u/Proof-Policy4097 2d ago
When I was 14 years old I went with my mom to Turkey, 5 start hotel. There was one photographer who invited me to take some pictures for free and I happily accepted it, since my mom told that it was expensive to do those pictures.
He brought me to the backrooms and was putting me in inappropriate poses and taking pictures of me. I was not understanding that something is off until he tried to rape me.
I ran away and told nothing to nobody. Every day he was coming to me and my mom and with the smile was offering to do a photoshoot.
The fact that this happened and that my pictures were probably sold to somebody still comes to my mind
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u/CheesyRomantic 2d ago
I have "memories" of being SA as a very young child. But I can’t tell if these are "fever dreams" or real memories.
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u/thro_w_away___ 2d ago
I've been writing on reddit because I have no one in my life. I'm broken.
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u/Iowa_and_Friends 2d ago edited 2d ago
You know… I used to have this recurring memory from when I was about 3, maybe 4… My mom returned after being away on business, and brought me back a toy—but I cried because I didn’t want it, so she got me another one…
Now, a normal, and rational, person would say “you were only three” … and that’s typical behavior for kids that age. Maybe a bit bratty—but normal…
I don’t recall anybody speaking about it after that— I’m not even sure my mom remembers it… But for so many years I felt such intense guilt about it… it would just pop up out of nowhere and haunt me. I’d beat myself up over what a ‘spoiled brat’ I was…
Then as an adult, through therapy, I peeled back the layers…
my parents separated when I was 3, and within about a year both of them shacked up with shitty spouses they chose over their kids…
my mom got primary residency of us, we saw our father on alternating weekends… but visits with my father were not happy or fun—he didn’t know what to do with little kids and never wanted to be a parent, so he mainly just sat around chain-smoking and yelled at us, and only seemed to care about his new wife… who also seemed to ignore us except to scold or yell at us, and did nothing when my father was mean to us, as well as her own son… meanwhile, her ex-husband married another woman and had a baby with her… and my stepmom favored, doted on, and went for outings with that kid, and didn’t invite us.
Around the time I threw that tantrum, the divorce was still fresh, and my mom was away on business a lot, and left us with mean nannies I did not like, so I missed my mom… and when I was about 4, my mom started seeing my now-stepfather, and that moved pretty quick too… he kept coming over more and more, gradually increasing until he’d spend the night sometimes… then one day on the way home from swimming lessons, my mom casually told us he’d moved in.
He was super fun Disney-Dad at first—especially to me, with tickles, picking me up and running around the house playing “airplane” , being sweet and caring, etc… but after moving in, it wasn’t long before the fun wore off… we lost our playroom because he moved his stuff into it, and he was constantly yelling at us, and kicking our toys around on the floor if they were in his way… and some other shit he pulled was legit abusive… I used to love getting into bed with my mom, but suddenly I couldn’t because this mean man was there.
In therapy, I realized the memory kept happening because I was blaming myself—as many children do… thinking that if I behaved myself, my mom wouldn’t have felt overwhelmed, and like she needed another person around to help out, and wouldn’t have needed to marry my mean stepdad, and I could’ve had my mom back…
I better stop typing this—I can feel tears brewing, and I need to get back to work.
So anyway—that’s one for ya…
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u/BurrSugar 2d ago
My mom and stepdad are Crystal meth addicts with a penchant for fighting physically with one another, but my dad was unwilling to completely remove custody for fear no contact with our mother would hurt us.
My grandma (dad’s mom) taught my sister and me what to do if there was a fight while we were there, and she’d drill us on her instructions, too.
I think I was 6 when that started. The instructions were:
If we can get to both the baby (mom and stepdad had a son together when I was 6) and the front door without having to pass them fighting, then we should grab the baby and run to the neighbor’s house.
If we couldn’t get to the front door, we should get to the bedroom where the baby was, shut and lock the door, and put something heavy in front of it if we could, until the yelling stopped.
If we couldn’t get to the room where the baby was, we should open a window and scream “Help!” as loud as we could, since we were in a trailer court with lots of people around.
To this day, when I’m at my mom’s, I find myself looking around for my exit or escape plan if they were to start fighting. I’m 32.
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u/OkDiscussion5732 2d ago
Mine wasn’t as aggressive as killing someone, but I was told about how to avoid talking to my abusive biological father and my mom’s crazy clients. Like, told I was going to be kidnapped and asked all manner of questions. It fucked me up
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u/coincoinprout 2d ago
Damn, it’s crazy, the exact same thing happened to this person. What are the chances?
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u/TechnicalAd7673 2d ago edited 1d ago
When I turned 30 an unleashing of repressed memories came forward. Turns out that is extremely common for survivors of childhood abuse to experience because your brain is essentially telling you that you are safe to process it now. I already knew some of it, but the worst was remembering my own father and grandfather SAing me multiple times throughout my childhood. Also memories of my mother and grandmother finding out and shaming, blaming, and forcing me to keep it a secret. When I tried to talk about it after the memories came back they absolutely lost it, thinking I had forgotten about it. They would often drink and make comments like “thank you for giving us a second chance” and I had no idea what that meant at the time. There was much more that happened but that’s the worst of it.
That was back in 2020. 4 years later I am completely no contact with my entire family. I moved across the country and started a whole new life. It’s been a terrible experience, but I survived despite wanting to check out a few times now. People said things would get better and at first I did not think they would, but they are starting to finally improve. It’s been a long road, but it was worth it because I could process the truth in a safe environment.
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u/Prudent-Character431 2d ago
Seeing what an alcohol addiction has done to a family member of mine. I’m too afraid of drinking alcohol because I’m worried I’ll end up going down the same path they did.
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u/crocodile_rocker 2d ago
I was having a nonviolent meltdown, just sitting in my wheelchair in the guidance counselor's office. The principal, whom I considered an ally and my mom considered something of a friend, burst in, kicked the counselor and my aide out, and started screaming at me to shut up, threatening me with detentions, and putting her hands on my shoulders, squeezing, shaking, digging her thumbs into my neck, grabbing my chin or my shoulders to make me look at her. I screamed for someone to call the police, she was hurting me. But I simply had to calm down first and stop being a crybaby.
A few months later, in a different counselor's office, she did it again. I tried to get up and escape out the door but she blocked me and shoved me back into my wheelchair. The counselor and my aide watched and did nothing.
In exchange for paying for my education elsewhere, the school district made my parents sign an NDA. Luckily, you can't bind a middle schooler to a contract.
She didn't get arrested or fired but there were rumors she was forced to retire two years later because all the kids hated her and she was not good at enforcing disabled students' rights.
It's been over 15 years. I don't write angsty poetry about her anymore and I don't necessarily think of her every day, but I've spent my life trying to spite her because she told my parents I wouldn't amount to anything and made me feel like garbage. I've succeeded, but it's a little tiring.
If you're in the US, please call your representatives about the Keeping All Students Safe Act so that people can't get away with this shit in any state.
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u/sexylassy 2d ago
My father was abusive to my mother growing up. He would get trigger sometimes over little things. Bread burnt, he threw the plate across the kitchen and my mother ducked.. however, there was one where it stands out. I forgot the details what mistake my mom made, but he took my mother to the bedroom to discipline her. I stayed home that day because I had a doctor’s appointment later on. After my father hit her, the door opened from the bedroom and I saw her on the floor. She quickly got up, got dressed and took my to my appointment.. it was what I saw afterwards what made me cry (I held it in because I was 8). We went to the bathroom and she was checking checking eyes, her body for bruises, and her back in the hospital mirror. I pretended I didn’t see anything, but I was crying inside.
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u/Business-Expert-4648 2d ago
I know it's tame compared to others that I've read, but here's mine.
I absolutely hate birthdays and receiving gifts. My 11th birthday. I knew my parents were going through a separation. I had a little opening gift thing on my actual birthday with my parents and sister. I thought it was odd because my dad wasn't living at home anymore and that he wasn't at home for Christmas only 2 weeks prior. Once I finished opening my gifts, my parents announced that they had filed for divorce. They thought my birthday was the ideal time to announce to us kids that they decided to divorce. Ever since, I don't like the focus on my birthday. I get uncomfortable when I receive gifts, to the point where it creates anxiety leading up to the event.
I haven't told my husband this, but I chose to get married 2 days before my birthday because it's a way and reason to take focus off of my birthday. I'd rather celebrate our anniversary than my birthday.
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u/fingerbutter 2d ago
I watched my great grandfather pass away. In his last moments, he motioned me over to his bedside and held out his hand to offer a handshake. I remember his handshake vividly. And I remember something like an energy flow from him, through my heart and make my ears flush and feel hot.
I'm not sure what it was, but at that moment, I decided that it became important to have a worthwhile life. I had no excuse for my lot. Only I could change it.
Not all trauma presents the same.
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u/dauntless91 2d ago
I was about 8 or 9 and my older brother had become a very cynical and bitter teenager. One day when our parents were out, he cornered me in the garden and gave me a big speech about how he wished I'd never been born, how the family would be so much better off without me and what a burden I was to everyone - even talking about how he hated our parents in a way that shocked me.
Something between us changed that day and he became an even worse bully the older he got. Thankfully he moved to a different country and I didn't have to see him as much, but I repressed that memory for years, and when it finally hit me again, so much about my low self-esteem and mental health problems made a lot more sense (that was far from the only incident like that involving him).
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u/reselath 2d ago
Fell off the jungle gym in third grade. Head first. No one helped me. I woke up as the recess bell was ringing to summon us back inside. It was just black, nothingness essentially, then I came to. Used to be a super happy kid and like a switch flip, became more realistic, colder, calculating, less sensitive. It was weird and everyone noticed the change. Sometimes I think back on it.
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u/Toomanyinterests28 2d ago
When I was freshly 3 I found my mom OD’d on the living room floor covered in vomit and laying face down. Worse part was she was holding my 5 month old sister when it all happened. I can still picture how I found her.
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u/anonuser278 2d ago
I dont think mine compares to what others have been through but my mom was notorious for giving the silent treatment if I made a mistake or did something she didn't like. Example: when I got caught drinking alcohol at 16. She didn't talk to me for a week. I haven't been able to drink alcohol since. I lost out on what seems like a lot of life experiences because I was the weirdo who didn't drink alcohol. I don't think it's a bad thing to not I just hate how that decision was made. Whenever I get invited to anything with alcohol I feel panicked and try to get out of it. I'm 29 now. She also didn't talk to me for several weeks when I moved out of the house at 21 (literally a few streets over). I just wish she would get help herself as I know there's trauma from her past that she has carried forward to react like this.
Another event was when I was 10 my family thought I was sleeping but wasn't and I heard my parents banging on the bathroom door trying to convince my brother not to drink bleach to kill himself.
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u/NeedsWhiskey 2d ago edited 2d ago
Look up the Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey (ACES), I get all 10. I might have gone a few months without something traumatic happening, but there was still the fear something would happen. Just ignoring the day to day stuff, both of my parents tried or threatened to kill me.
My very first memory, at 5 years old, is my mom trying to drown me in the bathtub. If her boyfriend hadn't been there to pull her off of me, I'd probably be dead. I was sent to my room to go to sleep and it was never talked about. I was never comforted.
Then when I was 15, my dad threatened to shoot me while holding a loaded pistol. My mind goes, "that's not so bad", because he never pointed it at me.
From my first memory when I was 5 to leaving my abusive ex at 27. So, everything. But I'm doing better 7 years later thanks to meds, a supportive partner, a community I've built, a psychologist, therapist, and even a spiritual healer. I'll take all the help I can freaking get.
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u/deviantelf 2d ago
My parents had foster kids almost all my life, short term ones. We had these two kids for a couple weeks. I was only maybe first grade, but I was already a reader so especially on weekends I'd get the newspaper. The two kids we had were in the paper cause they died due to their mom falling asleep with a cigarette. :(
Like my parents already explained how we had kids stay with us cause their family were having a hard time (age appropriate). But finding out they died was a whole other level.
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u/z_1529 2d ago
Groped when i was 14. I was jogging with my friends early in the morning and a man on a bike suddenly came close to me, grope me in the crotch and rode away laughing. I can never walk in peace anymore since that day.
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u/benjaminchang1 2d ago
I (trans man) was groped when I was 12 by an older boy at Scouts. Although I'd come out by that point, this boy knew me before I came out.
I told my mum about it when I was 20, and it's been easier sleep since then.
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u/Comfortable-Tea-5461 2d ago
I have a very vague memory of when I was probably 5 where our cousins spent the night and all the kids shared my room. One cousin who was probably 9/10 at the time kept asking to rub my stomach. I just remember being super uncomfortable and compromising with my back. I think I know who it was because I was always uneasy around them from that moment on, but the memory isn’t clear enough so I’d never admit it.
Technically nothing happened and I’m sympathetic because they were just a kid too, but it’s a memory that replays constantly. I don’t understand why considering it’s not as bad compared to what others endured. I got off lucky. Yet I still can’t stop thinking about it and I’ve never been able to be honest about why I don’t like being around that part of the family. It terrifies me that more happened that I can’t remember.
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u/dkf_ 2d ago
My stepdad (who I thought was my real dad), stopped wanting to see me for visitation. He said all the things a dad would say like "i love you" and "i'm grateful to have you as my son", he left when I was 10. I no longer trust what people say is real because of this.
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u/Prize-Ad560 2d ago edited 2d ago
This is nothing compared to what other posters have shared but I imagine others have also had a similar experience.
My sister, brother and I were both very skinny growing up. My parents were also very skinny growing up, and those genetics, well…yeah we were basically goalposts.
My dad was always adamant that we wouldn’t always be skinny and encouraged us to still eat healthy, exercise, and practice self love. My mom? She constantly force fed us until we got sick, or would harass us about eating all day. We weren’t allowed to just have a snack. If we wanted a pop tart after school, my mom insisted on making us a whole meal and then it would lead to a gigantic argument when we said no or didn’t eat it all when she made it anyway. My dad had to often intervene and convince my mom that her food pushing was actually hurting us and could have long lasting consequences.
I had some issues with food and eating growing up. I couldn’t eat with other people because it brought up memories of the arguments and yelling. Feeling full often gave me anxiety because I would have memories of being yelled at to eat more, then throwing up. It took me until I was about 25 to get over it.
I’m 33 now. I’m 6’3, just under 200, and in excellent shape. My sister is 37 and takes great care of herself. She still struggles with food and occasionally will call or text me before family meals for support. My brother is about to turn 30 and has to eat small meals throughout the day because the sensation of being full is traumatic for him still. We’ve confronted my mom numerous times about this and she swears it’s not her fault and that she just “loved us and wanted us to be healthy”.
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u/mollymuppet78 2d ago
Running around on the school playground when I was 7. I got in a bit of an argument with another girl. I told her I wasn't going to talk to her anymore because all she does is go tattle and cry to her Mom.
She retorted, "Well, at least my Mom is my real Mom. Your real Mom didn't want you, so she gave you away."
That day, I finally understood what being adopted was. My parents called me chosen, adopted, etc, but I didn't really understand. I now know they were waiting for me to ask more questions and be a little older, but that day, I found out, and I wasn't prepared. I spent the next 3 years in therapy as I believed I was kidnapped and lived in my own fantasy of who my "real parents" were.
I still hate the girl who told me.
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u/Brendenkaye 2d ago
I don’t have a lot of childhood memories of my father and quite honestly none of those I have are good. By the time I was in third grade, I knew my father was an alcoholic. By fourth grade, I determined I liked him and felt safe only when he was sober. From what I could tell, that was always in the morning. Once he started drinking he would get very mean and volatile so I really, really looked forward to mornings he would take me to school. Until one morning I found him secretly drinking in the garage before we got in the car. He begged me not to tell anyone. After that morning i began walking to school by myself I never felt safe with him, I didn’t trust anyone and became extremely angry at myself for being so naive. I essentially shut down around him which of course infuriated him when he was drunk. He would pick on me until my older sister would start fighting with him so would leave me alone. He became a terrifying stranger to me for the rest of his life.
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u/tatter14 2d ago
Coming home from a trip with friends to hear my brother had been killed in a wreck that morning. Mother told me in the kitchen, I remember collapsing. We were close in age and he was hit by a drunk driver head on while riding his motorcycle. 20 years old and his story was cut short.
Skip to a few weeks ago, I come across Your Honor on Netflix. If you know the show then you know how far I made it. It’s been over 30 years and I still had to turn the show off immediately.
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u/kitty-kouhai 2d ago
My brother asked me for a hug before we left the restaurant that we had dinner at. Being 16, and always irritated and arguing with my brother, I told him no and left with my mom.
That was the last time I saw him; he died a few days later in a car accident. Now, I will never say no to a hug or skimp out on saying goodbye; you never know if it will be the last time you see that person.
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u/MayaRandall 2d ago
I remember my younger step sister, probably eight at the time, panicked after having to manage a long list of chores before getting herself to the school bus on time. She missed the bus. She ran back home to me shaking and crying that my mom was going to punish her. She was incoherent with fear. I tried to reassure her. A few minutes later, my mom pulled up and told me to go to school. I left my stepsister alone with a monster.
Both my stepdad and my mom abused all the kids, but my stepsister had it the worst and she was so young. I started recording what they would say to her but my stepdad was a cop. I had no idea who to turn to. My dad’s side of the family told me to keep my head down and get out myself. I remember hearing that her teacher asked her about bruises on her arm. Nothing came of it. She started puking from fear daily. Forced to eat tons of food. Cleaned until midnight sometimes. Forced to see a therapist and my mom would dictate what she should write in her journal to the therapist and tell her exactly what to say to them. Being a child witnessing that is traumatizing in its own way. And I blame myself still.
I’m no contact with my mom, finally, thank goodness, but also with my stepsister who is grown now. When she was a teenager, after we had been separated for many years, I got a chance to say sorry. I hope she knows how much I mean it and how much I still think of her.
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u/No-Breadfruit9399 2d ago
When my sister and I were gathered into our middle school counselor's office and told that our parents had died together in a car accident. Principal, counselor, a social worker, and a sign translator for my sister were all in the room.
That led us both down a path neither of us really wanted, and we took opposite responses to it. It's been 12 years and we're both doing okay now, but man that was rough.