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u/hyf2 2d ago edited 2d ago
A 3-week accelerated zoo internship, where I spent most of my days shoveling big cat shit and trying to hose tiger spray off the nighthouse metal bars, elbow-deep in fish guts to make food for the otters, sorting through roadkill the traffic department dumped at our step to feed the vultures, etc.
I think I puked every day of it, usually a lot more than once.
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u/Parkerrobinson88 2d ago
Was always curious how they fed the zoo animals
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u/Overall-Situation438 2d ago
I've actually been an aquarist at an aquarium (so no carrion for the vultures). The food prep room looks a bit like a commercial kitchen without cooking appliances: big walk in freezer, large steel sinks, floor drains, and steel prep surfaces with big cutting boards and chefs and fillet knives available. The seafood we fed was all restaurant-grade seafood. No expired Walmart meat pizzas here, the fish ate better than I did!
From there, it depends on the animal. I fed bottom dwelling sharks and stingrays. We would chop bait fish into tiny ~ 1.5 cm thick steaks, peel shrimp and chop them into similar cubes, take the pen and beak out of the squid and chop them too, and offer some very small fish whole.
We fed some animals with a zip tie at the end of a long stick - spear the food on and offer it straight to mouth. Others got fed with broadcast feeding, throwing it on top of the water and letting them vacuum it up as it sank.
I also fed the jellyfish, and we had a hatchery room for plankton - brine shrimp and some other stuff, can't remember what. I'd go get a bucket of those in the morning and add them to a 5 gallon jug with an air stone closer to our work area, and every couple of hours we'd fill up a pitcher and squeeze a few turkey basters of brine shrimp into each tank. Next time you're at the aquarium, look closely at the dust swirling around the jellyfish and coral tanks. It's probably Sea Monkeys!
The sea nettles also got chunks of moon jellyfish, which were, umm, sourced from the moon jelly tank. We put them in a Slap Chop. Some jellies got supplemented with this jarred product called Oysterfeast, which splattered in my mouth once. Yes, it was disgusting.
Hilariously, the coral tanks with the small, pretty fish got fish flakes. The corals and anemone in those tanks got brine shrimp, too, and we had an algae farm (recycled 2 liter soda bottles in a sunny window) that we'd use to supplement the corals.
For the rest of the aquarium, I specifically remember leafy greens for the green sea turtle, who would eat lots of algae in the wild. She loved Brussels sprouts. She'd also get some squid on occasion. The octopus got live crabs in a puzzle box she'd have to solve. Algae eating fish got heads of romaine tied to the scenery or tied to weights and set on the bottom of the tank. The anacondas got a whole frozen guinea pig, rabbit, or chicken. Oh, and the electric eel had a strange contraption consisting of a funnel full of worms suspended from an oscillating fan above the tank - the worms would slowly drop out of the funnel in random parts of the tank, providing both enrichment and a snack.
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u/RoadDifferent4617 2d ago
Moon jellyfish in a Slap Chop, they don't use that ingredient in the TV commercials!
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u/On3l4sttim3 2d ago
That's pretty rancid, I can't even imagine getting through 3 weeks of that. 🥲🥲
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u/JPL2020 2d ago
That’s civil, nasty but civil. I accidentally shit my pants in kindergarten and left my shitty underwear in the bathroom trash. Needless to say, everyone found out but never figured out who did it. I got away with it but that day still haunts me to this day.
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u/goldensavage2019 2d ago
At least you had the decency to throw it away, I remember in third grade not one, but two people left their soiled underwear on the bathroom floor on the same day.
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u/Squarebody7987 2d ago
Some poor kid with a plastic shovel made a terrible discovery later that day.
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u/EntryApprehensive290 2d ago
When I was in high school I worked at a vets office in a small rural town. It was large animal and small animal. We saw goats, sheep, horses, cows, and… pigs. I had just finished cleaning up the clinic when our large animal doctor burst through on my freshly mopped floors and stated: we have a pig with a prolapsed anus. sigh I smelled her before I saw her. They had to wheel her in on a lumber cart you’d get at Home Depot. She was a 600+ pound pig and the biggest I had ever seen in real life. For the next 1.5 hours I helped the doctor stuff and sew this pigs asshole back together. You have to use a a thick plastic sphere to keep the asshole in place. I didn’t leave the office til about 9pm. (We close at 6 lol) When I came through the door to my house my whole family greeted me with gags and wretches. I threw my whole outfit away scrubs, shoes, undies and all.
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u/Oddish_Femboy 2d ago
600 pounds isn't even the biggest they can get. I've seen a beautiful Yorkshire pig that was nearing 800. You don't realize how massive an 800 pound animal is until you see it in person.
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u/AndyM110 2d ago
When I was 6 or 7, my friends and I loved playing with mud. But we weren't allowed to use the hose. The solution? PeemudTM . We built castles with it. Made sculptures. Rubbed it all over ourselves. We never played with each other's PeemudTM though. That would be nasty.
*edit As an adult, probably the time my parents' sewer backed up into the utility sink and I was shoulder deep in piss and shit trying to clear it out.
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u/TheChrono 2d ago
More evidence to just let kids play or it might develop into some weird shit.
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u/NiaInsomniac 2d ago
Found an emu egg at my zoo internship. Was allowed to keep it. It was old. Drilled it open with my best friend on the balcony. Exploded in our faces.
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u/silly-rabbitses 2d ago
The is the second reference to a zoo internship I’ve seen in this thread. Interesting..
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u/Davidp243 2d ago
I remember once seeing a thread on here where zoo keepers talked about their lives. Apparently the smell is so bad they can never get it off and it makes it essentially impossible to spend time with anyone other than other zoo keepers.
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u/allbitterandclean 2d ago
I can say from experience this also applies to movie theater staff - that popcorn butter gets in your pores and never leaves.
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u/Hate-Dishwashers 2d ago edited 2d ago
Probably making out with my big toe when I was…8? While thinking of Lego cat woman…
I feel shocked at myself, after all these years still.
EDIT: I feel overwhelmed, first time posting anything different than trying to meet people. Didn’t expect people to find this that entertaining, I hope you all have a lovely, beautiful day! You all rock
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u/Hate-Dishwashers 2d ago
Even after 48 minutes, getting home from work, I am sitting down questioning kid me. Caio
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u/CharmingChangling 2d ago
What I don't understand is why not the hand? Just too familiar?
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u/Hate-Dishwashers 2d ago
I have NO CLUE, kid me was weeeird, I’d chase girls in elementary school, all fours like a wolf. I’d crawl around singing weird songs in a manic way.
Yeahhhh…I look back and look at myself now, two completely different people lol
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u/Amalthea_The_Unicorn 2d ago
At university, I was sharing a hall of residence house with 4 other people, there was only one toilet and it was in the bathroom. One day someone was in the bath and I became desperate for a poo. I ran down to the actual uni building but it was Sunday and all locked up. There was nowhere to go. I had some black bin bags in my room as I'd been cleaning. I opened one out on my bedroom floor, took a dump in it and then took the bag outside and threw it in the giant wheelie bin.
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u/wholesomechaos111 2d ago
I do junk removal and there was a hoarder house cleanup for the day. This hoarder s favorite hobby was drinking four locos and then vomiting into red solo cups. He would then leave the half full vomit cups on every flat surface until they formed a thin skin on top. Once that delicate seal was broken no amount of masks or air freshener could prevent the burning stench from making me dry heave and tear up.
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u/CptTwigNBerries 2d ago
You really didn’t have to be so descriptive about the membrane forming on top of the puke 😂😂😂 Jesus I can just picture it now. I’m sorry brother I’m so sorry 😂😂😂💀
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u/Squarebody7987 2d ago
No further contestants after this one.
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u/wholesomechaos111 2d ago
I assure you first responder medical staff will win the gross award every time. I do what I do but I could never do that 🤢
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u/ebobbumman 2d ago
That vomit had to have been such a vicious cocktail of chemicals. Four loko is like fuckin battery acid from what I remember.
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u/frznMarg 2d ago
It’s like Alien when they have those egg rooms full of fave huggers😂
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u/levieleven 2d ago
I had a job once clearing out hoarder homes. At first it was interesting, like archeology almost, and they let us take finds home sometimes from the abandoned houses. I have LOTS of stories. After a while though it was heart-crushing. Us in respirators pitchforking trash into dumpsters.
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u/wholesomechaos111 2d ago
I've cleaned out a few hoarders over the years and it's truly sad and personal during the many hours (occasionally days) of digging through their personal items. I just hope that the person finds peace or at the very least the home finds a more caring owner once I'm done.
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u/Free-Industry701 2d ago
I peed in my abusive husbands Mountain Dew and he drank it. We are divorced now. He never knew I did that. He drank it all.
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u/sightlab 2d ago
"He drank it all." is the kind of petty, gleeful cackling I live for. Good on you, I hope it helped at least a tiny bit.
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u/apleima2 2d ago
Grew up on a small farm where we raised hogs. There's some pens we moved the small hogs to after when we weaned them off their mothers. The pens were maybe 8' by 14' sloped toward the back 2 feet where there was a covered manure pit. the pits were supposed to drain into a 6 inch hole at the far end which then drained into a larger pit behind the building which we would pump out periodically.
Problem is the hole is supposed to get plugged to build up a slurry over time then we would pull the plug when it was near full to let everything drain. Over time the plugs or drains themselves would get jammed open for a variety of reasons, usually some fence wire would break off and get jammed or something. The only way to fix this was to pull the pit covers off and lay belly down over the (usually full) pit to reach as far down as you could with your arm and clear the blockage by hand.
So yeah. reaching shoulder deep into a manure filled pit to clear a blockage would be mine. Or elbow deep in a sow's vagina to try and help her birth some pigs. that's pretty unpleasant.
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u/Mrslinkydragon 2d ago
why didn't you use a flexible rod?
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u/apleima2 2d ago
We're not really trying to push a blockage since the blockage was almost always pieces of metal wire that we tied the gates and fences up with. So you need to grab and remove those wires to let the slurry flow through.
We did have one of these we'd use with a garden hose if the blockage was further down the drain than we could reach. These worked pretty well but they had an unfortunate ability to splash alot of water and...other things... around when used. Let's just say you kept your mouth closed when you used these.
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u/Admirable-Moment-292 2d ago
I worked in tissue donation, specifically making burn grafts from donated skin. Some of the pieces of skin we received were called “full thickness”, as it included all 3 layers of skin, with adipose (fat), if the organization prior was too lazy to shave it off themselves. We had a bag of abdomen skin where they left all the adipose on, and perforated a bowel during recovery. So imagine a 75 lb slab of decomposing, poop covered skin, and the inner bag ripped and spilled all over me and the other tech. The smell was indescribable.
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u/JPL2020 2d ago
In kindergarten I was on the school bus and had to pee so bad. I decided to pee on the floor while the bus was moving, when the bus came to a stop all the pee started flowing to the front of the bus and eventually cascading down the steps. There were maybe 10 kids on the bus and they never found out it was me. I just had to act like it was gross and say, “who goes pee on a school bus?!”
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u/opheliablackbird 2d ago
I work in a veterinary clinic. Years ago, on a Friday afternoon, we euthanised a poorly golden retriever. He was then placed in cold storage and we went home for the warm, summer bank holiday weekend. Electricity to the freezer tripped before he could be properly frozen and long story short he 'exploded' at some point over the weekend due to build up of gases internally. Cue Tuesday morning back at work cleaning up bits of dog from nooks and crannies in cold storage. Threw up twice during. The smell was unreal.
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u/surfingcowgirl17 2d ago
for some reason at first glance my dumbass read “euthanized” as “neutered” and didn’t process the “cold storage” part. so basically i thought you blew up a live dog and i almost cried. your story is still crazy though
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u/Oddish_Femboy 2d ago
I am so sorry I feel so bad for laughing at this. I can't even begin to describe the wild mental image. I don't know if I'd want to.
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u/CharmingChangling 2d ago
Oh my, out of morbid curiosity were the owners expecting ashes? Did you have to tell them?
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u/Fearless-Cat-4914 2d ago
When i was 9, whenever i had to shit while in the shower, i shit in my hand and threw it in the toilet. Then i would wash my hands with the shower water and proceed on with my shower
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u/I111I1I111I1 2d ago
The image of a kid lobbing turds from the shower to the toilet has me cracking the fuck up for some reason.
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u/Flacks29 2d ago
Oh my gosh. Specifically when you were 9 😂
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u/damnuge23 2d ago
That’s was my thought. Was something going on a 9? Either way, some of these made me queasy but this one made me laugh so hard I had to put my phone down for a second.
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u/graggy_ice 2d ago
Why wouldn't you just stomp it down the drain?
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u/allbitterandclean 2d ago
I kept my composure for all these comments but this one right here is where I lost it
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u/captain_boh 2d ago
Looked for cigarette butts on the street and finished them. This was around 13-14 years old.
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u/Inside-Bid-1889 2d ago
Buddy of mine would do this in college outside the frat house, he called it butt huntin'
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u/Intrepid_Issue_7190 2d ago
I did this too. I was 12.
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u/gaythoughtsatnight 2d ago
One day, when I was in 7th grade, I was at school and I was not feeling well at all. I was in study hall, which was right after lunch. In my school, we had a certain number of hall passes we could use per day, and since I was sick I had already used them. Well, I could feel my stomach turning, and since it was close to the end of the class, I figured I'd just try to suck it up and wait to use the bathroom until the bell rang.
Big. Mistake.
I projectile vomited on that poor kid in front of me. It got all over his back and in his hair. The look on his face when he slowly turned around was pure horror. We both had to go home early that day.
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u/Electrical_Ad_5948 2d ago
When I was heavy in my drug addiction, me and the guy I was seeing at the time was using intravenously and didn’t have access to any water… we ended up using his urine
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u/Ak_Lonewolf 2d ago
Hey that's not the worst. The worst is a drug addict who would pick the scabs of his pustules and then put that substance I to the needle and inject that. His reasoning was he had so much drugs pumping through him you could get a contact high from his skin.
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u/Electrical_Ad_5948 2d ago
Oh yeah I’d have friends who would pick scabs off of other people who used because they were convinced that the scabs would get them high. Absolute craziness lol
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u/silly-rabbitses 2d ago
And now I’ve heard two of the most fucked up things ever today.
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u/ADE_0NE 2d ago
I can relate, I once ran out of cigarette ash and smoked a hit of crack through a pinch of my dead dogs ashes. Absolute low point and the nastiest thing I’ve ever done.
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u/Electrical_Ad_5948 2d ago
Glad someone on here can relate, makes me feel better lol hope you’re doing much better now!
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u/SentFromMyAndroid 2d ago
I'm out of the loop here. How do these relate?
using intravenously and didn’t have access to any water
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u/unicornvomit0215 2d ago
They need water to mix whatever they’re injecting and inject the mixture to get high.
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u/SentFromMyAndroid 2d ago
oh fuck no with pee
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u/unicornvomit0215 2d ago
Yeah that’d be a hard no. I’ve never been in a situation like that but I’d like to think I’d take a step back and think about my life 😅 Hope the original commenter is better ❤️
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u/Nikkerdoodle71 2d ago
Hey, I hope you’re doing a lot better now.
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u/Electrical_Ad_5948 2d ago
I am :) I’ll be sober 6 years at the end of July. Can’t believe some of the shit I did to myself but I ended up coming out of it alright lol
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u/spaaackle 2d ago
Takes guts to admit your story, especially on the internet which can try and kill you for much less. Great for you and your sobriety. Hold that head high and enjoy your life, you’ve earned it.
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u/ZarquonsFlatTire 2d ago
I used to do land surveying, and one thing we had to do for our engineer was measure inverts on sewer manholes. This meant popping open the manhole cover, taking a tape measure, and recording how far down it is to the bottom.
One day I was talking to my coworker and let the tape come back up too fast and let it flap at the end. A single drop of raw sewer fluid went right in my mouth while I was laughing at a joke.
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u/sam_neil 2d ago
Peeled a live dude off of shag carpeting he’d been lying (and shitting and pissing on) after 2-3 weeks.
Reached into the gaping throat of a gentleman who had tried to kill himself with a sawsall to “alley oop” the endotracheal tube into place
Was trying to pick up a guy who was barely conscious due to extremely high blood sugar. He was nude and had a colostomy bag that he had ripped out in his sugar fueled frenzy. When we lifted him off the ground a portion of his intestine telescoped out and gave me a lil smooch on my bare forearm.
Stay in school kids. Being a paramedic is super fun, but in each (and many more) situations I find myself wishing I had gone to law or business school.
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u/Practical-Film-8573 2d ago
they dont pay yall enough. pisses me off.
On a lighter note, my neighbor is an EMT. I don't know what all shes seen, but she came to get me to dislodge a dead frog that jumped in front of her car and got caught in the grille. She couldnt handle that lol
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u/NonConformistFlmingo 2d ago
intestine telescoped out and gave me a lil smooch on my bare forearm
The phrasing of this portion is absolutely FOUL. But it is also hysterical and I can't stop laughing. 🤣
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u/undercoverdyslexic 2d ago
The nastiest thing I have ever done was get a biohazard of a blacked out man to his bed. My roommate and I left to smoke in the woods and the guy was sick on the toilet with his friends so we thought his friends have it covered and went on our way. When we came back he was still there but the stench was horrible. We tried to get him to open the door but we eventually needed a hanger to do it. When the door opened he was in a puddle of his own shit and puke. There was shit and puke on the walls and ceiling. We plopped him on his bed and called his roommate to come back.
If you need to shit and puke at the same time. Grab a bowl and sit on the toilet. Don’t change positions.
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u/Bhelduz 2d ago
As a kid playing in the sandbox I looked for bubblegum that other people had spat out. Just picked out the gravel and chucked it in my mouth.
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u/happilystoned42069 2d ago
Was broke and addicted to cigarettes so i went to a bunch of gas stations trying a debit card that was negative in the vein hope it would work but after it failed i would dig in the ash tray for any halfies. I did use a lighter/knife to try and sanitize the filter but still not a proud moment. Been nicotine free for 3 years now though.
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u/Jhon_doe_smokes 2d ago
Once was locked outside my house when I was young taking the trash out with no shoes on. Tried to run around to the back of the house to get to a neighbors house to call my parents. I slipped with my bare foot in dog shit and landed on my shirtless back in it. Neighbors weren’t home I tried to hose off but nothing is cleaning the feeling of dog shit off you except soap so I had to sit for 1 1/2 hrs on the porch with a shitty foot and back waiting on my mom. I still till this day will not step foot on any ground or floor without at least slides on.
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u/ICMonsters1982 2d ago
We had a bad smell coming from our attic. I go up into the attic and look around thinking I'd find a dead bird or mouse. Nope. Found a dead raccoon. So rather than call animal control (it was ten at night) I got a gardening rake and rolled the very dead coon into a black construction garbage bag. Rather than throw it in the trash can, I tossed it in some dead plants and trees and sticks behind our house and let nature take its course.
I mowed by there yesterday and Corpsy Coon is still there baking in that sun causing a stink like no other.
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u/Internal-Wrangler752 2d ago
I once ate an entire pizza by myself and then pretended I had no idea where it went when my friends asked
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u/ZarquonsFlatTire 2d ago
My grandmother told us about how when she was a little girl she went to a tea party with the neighbor kids when she was about 8. The older girl made the younger one get the tea and serve. Well grandma was a little smarter and thought "well she's not tall enough to reach the sink" and went to help.
She found the girl dipping the teapot into the toilet, so she quietly went back downstairs and declined any tea when it was her turn. We asked her didn't she say something to the older sister and she said "No, she was always mean."
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u/Caffeinated_yogi 2d ago
Gave my ex-husband’s toothbrush a whirl around the toilet bowl AND shower drain after he got my friend pregnant…. Never told him, just put it back in the cup.
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u/OchtendZon 2d ago
I used to be bulimic. Shoveling vomit that wouldn't flush out of a public toilet with my bare hands and putting it in a shopping bag to throw away, is definitely at the top of the list. God, I'm so happy I'm on the other side of that now.
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u/PrettyPooley 2d ago
My ex had a golf ball sized cyst on her shoulder. I tried to extract it and it squirted forcefully, a little right into my mouth. I immediately threw up on her leg and cat who chose the absolute worst time to affectionately cuddle her leg
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u/travelingpirate 2d ago
Dumpster diving for food.
I was so broke and didn’t know about the food bank.
I drove around all the gas stations and fast food places checking the dumpster for food.
I found a bunch of wrapped burgers. Don’t know how old they were but put them in the freezer. Nuked the hell out of them and ate on them for the next couple days.
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u/CuddieRyan707 2d ago
Fuck man. Hope you’re seeing better days now.
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u/travelingpirate 2d ago
All good now. Plus side never got sick from them.
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u/CuddieRyan707 2d ago
Your immune system is probly the bacteria equivalent of Thanos
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u/travelingpirate 2d ago
I’m like Mr. Burns. I have all these diseases and bacteria inside me. But instead of making me sick they are all co-inhabiting me peacefully.
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u/Old_Pangolin8853 2d ago
How the fuck wwre you affording gas?
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u/travelingpirate 2d ago
The last of the change on the floor of my car. There were times I had to call in sick because I didn’t have gas to get to work.
The time my car was broken into. I couldn’t get the window fixed and had to drive around. Got splashed by other cars. That sucked something fierce.
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u/69696969-69696969 2d ago
There are a few contenders in my life such as the time all 4 of my kids were sick and we had to clean up blow out diapers and explosive diarrhea throughout the house. I think the real winner though was when I was about 11 and the deep freezer in the garage got unplugged.
No one is sure how long it was off; we could only speculate. The only real facts we had were that the seal on that freezer was perfect, we were deep into Summer and that it had last been opened in Spring.
I don't know why but it was decided that we would keep it. I was able to go the longest without vomiting so I ended up doing most of the work cleaning it out. The stench of rotting meat is horrendous and seared into my memory right along with how pliable and warm meat gets while decomposing. It did leave me with the ability to notice dead animals sooner than others though, so silver lining I guess.
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u/htkach 2d ago
In my training at nursing school I had to prep a woman for surgery. She had been on her floor for a few days before she was found. She was also very large. While giving her a pre surgery bed bath I had to lift up her boobs to clean under there. I also ost dies when I saw chaffed bloody skin with maggots crawling around: I’m not a nurse today
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u/KittyBooBoo2016 2d ago
Most memorable:
As a nanny for newly mobile, infant aged twins, and family got a brand new puppy. 8 weeks old. Puppy did what puppies do and took a shit on the carpet, so of course one baby got in it. As I remove poop foot baby, other baby and puppy follow. I have no help, one baby in the sink to keep his shit foot from spreading more shit around the floor, and the other baby starts heading back to where the shit is on the floor. Parent works from home and is on a work call, and was SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE PUPPY WITH THEM. I put poop baby back on the floor, because poop floor is better than hurt baby, go get other baby, put the puppy outside in the garage, meanwhile babies are both very curious what’s on poo baby’s foot and get poo hands too. Both babes in the sink, manual removal of shit as I gag, when I gag we learn the babies are very sensitive to that and one starts gagging they both end up throwing up, I’m still gagging and can’t stop. The smell is atrocious. I’ll never forget it. They had scrambled eggs with cheese for breakfast.
This was day one with the dog.
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u/Spuzzle91 2d ago
When I was a teenager, one of my mom's three cats took a massive 5 turd shit on the kitchen floor in front of her while she was watching...and she walked away from it. Later on, she yelled at me for not cleaning it up. Like really laid into me sort of yelling and berating. So out of spite I just locked eyes with her and grabbed all the turds at once bare-handed and dropped them in the litter box. Then I used her favorite tea towel to wipe my hands down before I washed them properly. It just made her more angry, but oh well.
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u/Drewskeet 2d ago
I have IBS and I’m lactose intolerant. I’m at night a nightclub in Dallas I got the sweats and an immediate need to shit. I go to the bathroom, there’s one stall, no door, it’s full of stuff and almost over flowing. BUT there is TP. I destroyed that toilet. I had no other choice. I felt terrible for whoever needed to fix that toilet. Worst place/situation I’ve ever had to take a shit. There was also a line and it was super busy. I didn’t poop in peace or private.
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u/FruitySalads 2d ago
One time while eating my wife’s ass i stuck my tongue in really deep and the tip of my tongue made contact with a soft turd. I kept going because she was about to cum. #WorldChamp
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u/Friendly-Falcon3908 2d ago
I clogged the toilet but didn't want the poop to stay in it so I wrapped it and brought it down to the downstairs toilet and flushed it 😭
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u/moongoose96 2d ago
Had just broken up with an ex boyfriend after a huge fight over text. I was super drunk at my best friends house when he called and asked for his favorite jacket back. I remember we couldn't use the bathroom cause someone was sick in there so we had the great idea of pissing on his jacket instead. And to top it off I had to change my tampon so I put the dirty one in the jacket pocket out of spite.. I was 16 at the time and it was incredibly immature of me to do. But he was being a complete asshole and that's how I justified it
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u/tommyyouaintgotnojob 2d ago
I was at Peach Music Festival (aprox 40,000 ppl) and after a headlining set I was leaving the venue and HAD to take a shit so I entered a porta-potty to witness THE MOST overflowing shitter, probably a foot of shit and subsequent waste above the rim and it was completely out of TP. I had no options at this point so I dropped trou, did the thing, and used my socks to wipe. I was on a few tabs of acid, some molly, and coke. It had to be the nastiest thing I've ever seen and done...but then again I have been the 3rd and 5th guy to sleep with this girl on the same day, the second time without a condom, resulting in only HPV thank god. (Maybe she'll post about that day here.)
My decision making has much improved since those days.
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u/Muted-Program-153 2d ago
Corpse removal. The nastiest ones were old people who died during the summer and weren't found for like 2 or 3 weeks. Like upstairs in the hallway soaked through and dripping through the ceiling on the bottom level. Or bloaters that popped trying to bag them. Stuff like that.
I'm not grossed out by anything but some people probably are so 🤷
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u/cowboyshouse 2d ago
in college, I got into the elevator of my dorm and saw someone had previously thrown their McDonald's pickles on the floor.
I ate them, they were delish, I was sober, it was 2pm on a Tuesday.
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u/ralph99_3690 2d ago
When I was 14 our septic tank got plugged up. A normal family would call a company that sucks poop out of septic tanks, not my dad he decided we would empty it ourselves. He opened the top and we dipped buckets into the shit cesspool and carried them about 100’ to the slough behind or house and dumped them. No protective gear. Probably used the same buckets we milked the cow with.
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u/ProtectingCounselor 2d ago
Had my hands dipped quarter way inside a pool of vomit in my bathtub. It was literally the vomit of a stranger.
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u/VividRide665 2d ago
I got the shits when I was driving home one night. It was too late to find a bathroom so I had to pull over and take a shit right there on the side of the freeway. It continued when I got home.
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u/MySpiritAnimalSloth 2d ago
I was less than 6, but I remember it very well.
Poop and Vomit WARNING.
I fell sick at school and had the runs, so I went to the bathroom and emptied myself on the toilet but still managed to shit myself a bit. Still emptying myself, I looked down and vomited in my pulled downed trousers.
I remember my grandma picking me up from school and throwing me under the shower.
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u/srvfan4life 2d ago
I did the same thing one night when I was drunk and 18! I was at my friends house and his parents were gone for the weekend so I was able to borrow clothes from him and wash mine. The only problem was I’m 6’3 and he’s probably 5’6! Serves me right! Damn my friends put up with a lot of shit like this from me when I would get blackout drunk.
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u/Nerditter 2d ago
Some time this winter I found a big cockroach and immediately trapped it under a bucket. I knew I had to act quick, so when I let it out I cupped it on the floor and then just...
<shudder>
... smashed it with my hand.
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u/Louwheez81 2d ago
Was frosting a cake, stopped to change a a shitty diaper. Went back to the kitchen and before I washed up I licked some “chocolate frosting” from the side of my hand that was not chocolate frosting 😭
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u/Loki_the_Cockatiel 2d ago
I pissed in my abusive mothers shampoo bottles and scrubbed my nuts with her toothbrush
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u/Weird_Technician2317 2d ago
Smoking butts outside of a 7-11, like other people's cig butts.
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u/Practical-Film-8573 2d ago
this reminds me of something. so apparently you can get high off urinal pucks and there's a sub for it....and some ppl get so hard up apparently they inhale used ones from public restrooms...i cant remember the subreddit name it couldve been banned
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u/BigMaraJeff2 2d ago edited 2d ago
Filipino hooker in the bathroom stall of I'm guessing a hotel lobby.
Took a bite out of an apple. Dropped it into some gritty sandy dirt. Picked it up and ate the entire thing.
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u/Least-Bear3882 2d ago
I was a new exterminator. We had to go to this house with a dead rat in every corner. We weren't there for those though. We were there for roaches. Homeowner said at night the walls moved, and you could hear roaches chomping on food. The smell was horrific, like sweet rotting. At first, it looked bad, but then my boss told me to pump the wall full of an aerosol and then turn on my backpack vacuum and start vacuuming them up. I unloaded about 30 seconds of spray into a crack around a doorway. I didn't even get the bag onto my back and those fuckers came out and and filled every inch of the archway. I was wearing a tyvek suit which is basically a plastic onesie with a hood. I was sweating profusely, trying to vacuum them before they climbed on the handle and up my sleeves or fell to the floor and scurried off. About an hour in, and I stopped to empty the bag and noticed they still were everywhere; kitchen, living room and the hallway. I'm wrapped in biohazard suit and the homeowner was just sitting there eating lunch.
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u/imnottheoneipromise 2d ago
Well, when I was in Iraq, I had to pick up body parts of Iraqi soldiers that got blew up by extremist at a TCP, 36 hours after it happened. Picking up slimy, decomposing body parts and trying to match them to the other body parts of the same person was rather nasty.
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u/Ok_Entrance4289 2d ago
Having to bury my hands up to the forearms in a 6+weeks unwashed morbidly obese woman’s vagina so that the OBGYN I was working with could see past the woman’s enormous fleshy labia for a pelvic exam.
Cleaning a 1/4 inch thick hardened ring of smegma off an uncircumcised man who just…didn’t…wash there, and ended up with phimosis (foreskin tightens around glans and can no longer be retracted, leading to infection)
Having elderly people with C-Diff shit approximately 4 inches from my face, then having to clean them up.
Squeezing the pus from large abscesses on a man’s scrotum due to cancer.
Removing a woman’s retained tampon. On par with C-Diff, not kidding.
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u/cardinalwren 2d ago
My younger sister and I didn’t get along as kids. It took us until the past two or three years to really start rebuilding our relationship, we’re both now early twenties.
She instigated a lot, and would always get away with it. She wasn’t a “golden child” per se, but she had learned how to start problems with me when our parents were oblivious. Obviously I wasn’t innocent and I did start things, but how it normally went was she would instigate, always stupid stuff, and I would escalate and be the one that reacted loudly enough for my parents to notice and for me to get blamed.
There’s one day I particularly remember, I was in middle school and our grandma had picked us up. I don’t remember what we were fighting about, but I ended up snapping and unloading on her, telling her how unlikeable and annoying she was, how she didn’t have any friends, nobody liked her, etc. It was a lot and it was bad and she was crying. I felt horrible saying it and even worse when my grandma asked me how I could be so horrible to my own sister.
In all honesty, she had tons of friends. She was always the popular, pretty, athletic one who had no trouble socializing. I on the other hand was just taking out my own self hate on her. I was in an abusive friendship — my only friend at the time was physically, verbally, and emotionally abusing me and I took everything she told me out on my sister.
I apologized to her a few weeks ago with a really long text telling her how horrible I felt about everything I did to her as a kid, and how much it weighed on me. She felt the same, as it had come from both sides, and even in such short time since we’ve been a lot better. But thinking about that one instance, I want to cry and wish so much had been different.
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u/AriasK 2d ago edited 2d ago
When I was a teenager, I was in an on again off again situationship with my boss at work. I was young and naive. I was absolutely infatuated and in love. I wanted to be in a commited relationship. He just used me for sex for a year and messed with my head. He made me keep us a secret and would ghost me as punishment if I told anyone about us. He would make me do his duties at work, while him and his mates slacked off, and threaten to dump me if I didn't. He would sleep with other women and tell people about it. When people told me he'd convince me they were lying to come between us and make me turn on that person. There was a new girl at work. About my age. We became really good friends. I'd even say best friend status. Our boss played us off against each other. He tried to do to her what he was doing to me. However, she was smarter than me and hadn't endured all of the manipulation I had. I think she liked him a bit and they did kiss one time but she backed off once he started his bullshit. She saw right through him and threatened to complain to HR. He somehow managed to convince me that she had tried to steal him from me and she had tried to sleep with him. He made me hate her. He convinced me we needed to get her to quit work. He said he couldn't do anything because he was the boss but that if I said a bunch of really nasty stuff to her, stuff so horrible it made her never want to come back, that him and all the guys would lie for me and say I never said it and she'd just look crazy. I did as he asked. She quit on the spot and we never saw her again. She tried to make a complaint but we all stuck to our story. A few months later he finally ended our non relationship for good because he got an actual girlfriend (another friend of mine who he'd been seeing behind my back, she'd been end game for him and the reason me and him had to be a secret). I felt like my world had come crashing down but once I'd had space and clarity I saw everything for what it was. I had so much regret for the things I'd said. I've tried many times over the last 20 years to find that girl and apologize but I've never been able to.
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u/Electroman682 2d ago
I once got a muffler burn on my calf. By day 3, it was a blister the size of a cup. One night, I'm on a motorbike going 10 km/h up a steep driveway. We hit a pothole, I go flying, and land on the bike. Adrenaline kicks in as we scramble to regroup. In the dark, I see a white patch on my shin but can't feel anything. We get back on the bike and reach home. In the light, I realize the white patch is a third-degree burn. The skin had been pushed around to cover my original burn, looking like a black fried egg. I freak out, but thanks to adrenaline, I can't feel anything. I know I need to deal with it, but don't want my dad to see. So, I grab a butter knife and start hacking away at the burnt skin. Serum squirts out, my friend is laughing and squirming, and I'm going at it like I'm in a Saw movie. It left a nasty scar, which I later covered with a tattoo.
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u/huskeybuttss 2d ago
When I was a kid I spilled an entire snack bag of goldfish on the ground outside and kept eating them off the ground because i love goldfish
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u/dingadangdang 2d ago
Survived my duodenal artery exploding.
Largest artery in your body. And it's located one foot from your heart. So when it goes it normally goes into stomach. So in ER they held me down naked while I vomited and s*** all the blood out of my body. Twice. Because that's how fast it comes out. So I was laying in a pool of blood for two people, not one. So 17 units in ER. And they stopped counting in OR but estimated 8 more.
So many people in ER die looking at the ceiling.
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u/Zirael_Swallow 2d ago
Oh my old student dorm had a shot called the „cement mixer“. On paper it wasnt that bad: a shot of bailys, keep that in your mouth and a shot of lemon juice.
The lemon juice makes the cream of the bailys clump. I swallowed it and immediately had the image of a hairy slug going down my throat in my head. I made it around the bar counter before violently vomiting down the sink.
Took about three years before I could tell this story without gagging
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u/External_Progress151 2d ago
I spilled my drink on the bar counter right as the bartender put it down. My drunk ass grabbed the cup, scooped the spilled drink off the edge of the counter into the cup with my arm , and slammed that bad boy
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u/stretchyarm 2d ago
I think I'm gonna win this one. When I first got my colostomy bag installed I was still clumsy at emptying it. One ofnthe first few times I did I got a dab of pouch "contents" on the tip of my finger. It was a knee jerk reaction and I quickly licked my finger like you would if you got sauce on it. I vomited heavily foe about 30 minutes after in disgust and then shamefully had to call my doctor and tell them what happened because I was doing chemo at the time and was worried about infections. I was fine, but I'm still traumatized from that.