r/AskReddit • u/Previous-Ad3911 • 5d ago

You can have 5000 of anything that starts with Y. What do you choose?

10.1k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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30.0k

u/Iriss21 5d ago

5,000 yachts!! Then I would try and sell 4,999 of them

29.7k

u/KatzDeli 5d ago

As a former boat owner, trust me, sell all 5000.

8.0k

u/chapl66 5d ago

Is it true the happiest days of a boat owners life are the day he buys and the day he sells it?

7.7k

u/mcgargargar 5d ago

They say a great way to make a small fortune is to start with a large fortune and buy a boat

2.6k

u/GargantuanGarment 5d ago

They also say I'M ON A BOAT MOTHERFUCKER DON'T YOU EVER FORGET

1.0k

u/HurricanePirate16 5d ago

I got my swim trunks and my flippie floppies. I’m flippin burgers, you at Kinko’s straight flippin copies

416

u/Joris_McNorris 5d ago

I'm on a boat and it's goin fast and I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan

284

u/spikeddildo69 5d ago

I'm the king of the world on a boat like Leo

270

u/rlesnock 5d ago

If you on the shore, then you're sure not me-o

Get the FUCK UP THIS BOAT IS REAL

198

u/rlesnock 5d ago

Seriously though this has been one of my karaoke go to's for like 15 years now and this makes me incredibly happy seeing everyone jump in with this lol

16

u/Simple_Mongoose_7850 5d ago

I was listening to this today along with a bunch of other lonely island songs because I just remembered their music exists for the first time in a few years, cool timing lol. Gotta say Finest Girl is probably my favorite by them tho😅

16

u/TiffyVella 5d ago

This is my "sing in the car" song. I'm here for all the enthusiasm.

I also have a custom version called "I've got a dog" which I sing to my dog.

5

u/dizzymonroe 4d ago

I'd love to hear (read) some of your "I've got a dog" version.

4

u/TiffyVella 4d ago edited 4d ago

"IVE GOT A DOG MOTHERFUCKERS DONT YOU EVER FORGET"

Oh and I should have added--

"I've got a dog and

she's going fast and

she's a german shepherd kelpie not an afghan"

13

u/WhitmansTrashBarge 5d ago

“Poseidon, look at meeeeeee” It was me and a couple buddies go to for a while. I was the only one that could half-ass sing so I always had to be T-Pain lol.

9

u/handtohandwombat 5d ago

I made this reference to a 24 year old and he had no idea what i was talking about. It made me feel very old.

8

u/Esme_Esyou 5d ago

They missed out fo sho, the lonely island boys were elite 😄

2

u/PurpleT0rnado 4d ago

I’m 53 and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Does that make you feel any younger?

2

u/Blitzkrieged_ 4d ago

Don't worry, I'm 24 and I have this song in my Spotify playlist. Comes on every once in a while and I jam tf out. Loved Lonely Island when I was a kid.

1

u/TiffyVella 3d ago

Im 57. I fucking love this song. None of my analogue friends even know what it is. My gaming friends all do and we share the joy.

8

u/6BigZ6 5d ago

That song with a partner who also knows the words is fun AF in karaoke and always gets a huge crowd response if you don’t fuck it up.

4

u/Fun-Jicama327 5d ago

15 years?! How…no way…

2

u/nickbleezy 4d ago

Same here this is my cutoff karaoke song. The drunker I am the better I do!

2

u/pssiraj 4d ago

This isn't a bar, this is a microphone!

I THREW IT ON THE GROUND

2

u/NowSafeForWork911 4d ago

Ooo adding to my karaoke stack

2

u/ambientoof 4d ago

This whole thread is gold

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81

u/spaghettihax763 5d ago

Fuck land, I'm on a boat mothafucka!

Fuck trees, I climb buoys mothafucka!

17

u/rlesnock 5d ago

I'M ON THE DECK WITH MY BOYS MOTHERFUCKER

20

u/donnytsunami 5d ago

THE BOAT ENGINE MAKE NOISE MOTHAFUCKAAAA

15

u/missyjade88 5d ago

gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow

3

u/chux4w 4d ago

Hey Ma, if you could see me now.

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3

u/HarbingerML 5d ago

I f*cked a mermaaaaaiiiid

2

u/Minimum-Scientist-71 5d ago

Call the Arabs!!

Sorry wrong boat song

1

u/rlesnock 5d ago

There's no such thing

NACHOS AND LEMONHEADS ON MY DAD'S BOAT YOU WON'T GO DOWN CUZ MAH DICK CAN FLOAT

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1

u/Edujdom 4d ago

Believe me when I say-yyy

I FUCKED A MERMAAAAAAIIIIEIEEEEEIEIEEEEEED!

1

u/Dirt-Road_Pirate 4d ago

You’ve got to believe me when I say I fucked a mermaid.

1

u/BarefootBuffyxoxo 3d ago

FUCK LAND IM ON A BOAT MOTHERFUCKER!

3

u/wisp66 5d ago

Don’t forget that boat sunk😆

5

u/make_em_say 5d ago

If you on the shore then you sure not me-o.

12

u/Lil_chikchik 5d ago

Never thought I’d see the daaay Big boat coming ma waaay Believe me when I saaaaaaay I fucked a mermaaaaiiiaaaaaiiiaaaaiiiaaaaiiiaaaaid!

1

u/stefan715 4d ago

Unfortunately the king of the world isn’t entitled to the 2nd spot on the floating door

1

u/Infamous-Antelope- 4d ago

In st tropez

3

u/PortSunlightRingo 4d ago

Pretty wild that when you read this it sounds like shit until you realize dude rhymed and with and with afghan.

2

u/Pizza_Slinger83 5d ago

This whole time I thought it was "I got a nautical theme, pass me the afghan" lol

2

u/Fatalstryke 5d ago

pashmina afghan

..............I never looked up the lyrics.

I've never looked up the actual lyrics to this line.

2

u/Zebralemon 5d ago

This whole time I thought it was "patch me to afghan"

3

u/Kaizen710 4d ago

Why does this line actually go hard.

1

u/Miserable-Oil-3058 4d ago

Freakin A...now I have to go and listen to it....thanks lol

6

u/Loose_Mud2529 5d ago

That’s as real as it gets.

3

u/2_LEET_2_YEET 5d ago

I've got a nautical themed pashmina afghan

2

u/VIOLENT_WIENER_STORM 5d ago

Take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat.

2

u/IDontWantToArgueOK 5d ago

Nachos and lemon heads on my dad's boat, you won't go down cus my dick can float.

2

u/lloopy 5d ago

Fun to rent. Not fun to own.

2

u/Crocodiddle22 4d ago

I’m ridin on a dolphin, doing flips n shit! 🐬

1

u/stormstopper 5d ago

The key was they were on someone else's boat!

1

u/versatilewisdom 5d ago

BOATS AND HOES BOATS AND HOES

1

u/Orangeaderoeret 5d ago

I got the high (and dry) ground.

1

u/alexmikli 5d ago

I haven't thought of this in like 13 years.

1

u/Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce 5d ago

My grandpa used to say that in the mirror every other day.

The dementia was kicking his ass towards the end.

1

u/IsolatedHead 5d ago

I have a dingy w a 3 Hp motor. Does that count?

1

u/LisbonVegan 5d ago

My daughter and I were at a fort ruin in Israel once and came up with the line I'm on a MOAT. We adapted some lyrics to I'm on a Boat. Now every time my husband and I travel and there's a moat (it's actually very frequent), I stand on it and yell the lyrics to "I'm on a MOAT" and send her the video. Have gotten some super weird looks from tourists.

1

u/BobcatElectronic 4d ago

I think it’s pronounced AIR FORGET

1

u/ctm617 4d ago

I fucked a mermaid!

1

u/BikeSawBrew 4d ago

Currently on the Carnival Spirit headed for Alaska wearing our group t-shirt saying “I’m on a boat”. That song has been stuck in my head for days!

1

u/Miserable_Fennel_492 4d ago

I often say “Poseidon, look at me now” and nobody ever gets it (womp womp)

1

u/NorahCharlesIII 5d ago

Boats and hoes

17

u/sunbro2000 5d ago

The best way to own a boat is to have a friend who owns a boat.

53

u/Skatingfan 5d ago

😁😅

8

u/fantasticmrjeff 5d ago

The best way to make $100,000 selling a boat is to buy a $200,000 boat and then try to sell it.

6

u/caligirl_ksay 5d ago

Same goes for horses.

3

u/Complete_Dust8164 5d ago

Yeah I’ve heard people use this expression with so many different things lol

1

u/OkResearch5711 5d ago

what is the meaning

1

u/patrickfatrick 5d ago

It means buying a boat or a horse is a money pit.

1

u/Thrusttruth 5d ago

That if you have a lot of money and buy a boat, you'll end up spending a ton on it, probably sell it, and at the end have a lot less money than you did before.

1

u/CrowOne5787 5d ago

....which stands to reason.

2

u/justinbeuke 5d ago

Hence the acronym of BOAT - Bankruptcy on a trailer

2

u/om_steadily 5d ago

They say if you want to know what it’s like to own a boat, get in the shower in all your clothes, turn on the cold water (not warm!) and tear up hundred-dollar bills.

1

u/BorntobeTrill 5d ago

Does this work with fat, too?

1

u/Tartalacame 5d ago

Richard Branson (Virgin group) said something similar. "If you want to be a Millionaire, start with a billion dollars and launch a new airline".

1

u/GalumphingWithGlee 5d ago

Lol, I've heard that one differently: the easiest way to make a small fortune in Vegas is to start with a large fortune.

1

u/BleuBrink 5d ago

I have heard the same saying for horses.

Basically applies to all rich people hobbies. You have to be rich to indulge in these hobbies, and they cost so much that this joke makes sense.

1

u/Extremely_unlikeable 5d ago

A hole in the water into which you throw money

1

u/Fit-Doughnut9706 5d ago

A great way to experience boating and save money at the same time is to start burning $100 bills in a barrel while your friend splashes you with salt water every 15 seconds

1

u/Pihlbaoge 4d ago

Must have been shitty boats. I've made my money back on all boats I've had and intend to do so on the one I currently have as well.

1

u/SuperBry 4d ago

Just like that time I found $100,000 in the park and I invested it and walked way with $16,000.

1

u/Dependent_Sentence53 4d ago

All fax. No printer.

1

u/WideTechLoad 4d ago

I'd love to have the money to lose owning a boat.

1

u/AskMeAboutMyDoggy 4d ago

Yup. The best way to become a millionaire is to be a billionaire and buy a boat!

1

u/crimsonangel68 4d ago

Rumor has it BOAT stands for "Bust out another thousand"!

1

u/kirby056 4d ago

And the best way to turn a small fortune into nothing is to buy a "discount" Italian sports car. That Ferrari 288 is gonna eat through your inheritance from grandpa in about a year.

1

u/Sensitive_Doubt7966 4d ago

or a race car lol

1

u/aHOMELESSkrill 4d ago

The best way to have a boat is to convince your friend to buy one.

1

u/Lambchoptopus 4d ago

The fastest way to become a millionaire is to be a billionaire and own an airline.

1

u/vigtel 4d ago

Is it true that the true definition of a boat is a hole in the ocean that you throw all your money into?

1

u/BlazedLurker 4d ago

B.O.A.T..... Bang Out Another Thousand

1

u/Studds_ 5d ago

Not just boats. You could also buy twitter & run it into the gro…..

Nevermind. That niche is taken

-3

u/TLBG 5d ago

Or lose a small fortune

0

u/ballrus_walsack 5d ago

BOAT is not actually a word. It’s an acronym for “Bring Out Another Thousand”

0

u/megustcizer 5d ago

They also say that a boat is a hole in the water that you throw money into.

0

u/thentheresthattoo 5d ago

B. O. A. T. = Bust Out Another Thousand. Boat - a hole in the water where you throw money.

0

u/properlysad 5d ago

BOAT (Bust Out Another Thousand)

0

u/dadepu 5d ago

You could also buy an F1 team.

-8

u/Tym370 5d ago

Now it's, start with a large fortune and move to california.